Emily Groff
Episode 23

Narrator:

Welcome friends to another episode of The Story & Experience Podcast. Join your host, Japhet De Oliveira, with his guest today and discover the moments that shape us, our families, and communities.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Welcome to another episode of The Story & Experience Podcast. So for all of our regulars, you know exactly what's going to happen. For anybody who's brand new, this is what takes place. We have 100 questions. The first 10, of course, are just, I'm going to ask the guests the first 10 questions are easy. Then 11 to 100, they get to pick numbers. Of course, as you get to 100, it's harder, more vulnerable, more open. It's just a way for us to be able to share some stories and experiences that actually shaped us into the leaders that we are today.

Japhet De Oliveira:

So I want you to imagine we have a cup of tea. We're sitting down having a little bit of a chin wag, enjoying this conversation. You should do the same as well. Without much further ado, I'm going to dive in right now and enjoy this. And so let us begin by asking our guest, she's smiling already, so you're going to get to hear it. She's just smiling, but what's your name? And does anybody ever mispronounce it or mess it up in any shape or form?

Emily Groff:

Good morning. My name is Emily Groff. The Emily is pretty easy. The Groff, a little trickier.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Ah-hah. What do people do with the Groff?

Emily Groff:

Usually turn it into Gross. I don't know how I feel about that.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Oh really? That's tragic. That's tragic. I've never heard that.

Emily Groff:

Good.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Well, Emily, we're really glad that you actually are able to join us today. What do you do for work at the moment?

Emily Groff:

I am a project specialist with The Story and Experience Department at Adventist Health.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Brilliant. How long have you been doing that?

Emily Groff:

A few months now. So I'm an old pro.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Fantastic. Good. Good. I'm excited that you're part of that team for many reasons. For many reasons. All right. So in the morning, what is your drink of choice? Do you have water? Do you have a green liquid smoothie? Do you have a tea? Coffee?

Emily Groff:

Definitely coffee. Not a green liquid smoothie.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Good. And what type of coffee?

Emily Groff:

If I'm in California, I like to have Dutch Brothers coffee, which is the best.

Japhet De Oliveira:

What?

Emily Groff:

But here in Texas I'm usually at home, from my Nespresso maker. So I don't measure it or do the temperature, any of that, but I just-

Japhet De Oliveira:

Push a button and it makes the coffee for you?

Emily Groff:

Yes.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Great. Good, good. Emily, where were you born?

Emily Groff:

I was born in a tiny town, I don't even know if it qualifies as a town, in Southern California named Aguanga.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Huh?

Emily Groff:

Yeah. You've never heard of it, have you?

Japhet De Oliveira:

No, no. I actually thought it was maybe an Australia, but ok, Aguanga.

Emily Groff:

Aguanga, California. It's a real place as far as I know.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Have you been back there?

Emily Groff:

Yes, but it has been many, many years.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's great. That's great. All right. Good. And then when you were a kid, what did you imagine you were going to be?

Emily Groff:

Actually, I had a pretty clear vision for my life. It's not how it's played out. That's ok. I wanted to be a museum set designer as a kid. I know that's every kid's dream naturally. They are these people who come in when a museum exhibit is being designed. They consult. They figure out the best ways to make it interactive, the best flow through the space. I thought that was fascinating and that was my dream for years.

Japhet De Oliveira:

When I say a kid, were you thinking this when you're like in your twenties or this is when you were like seven years old? I'm just curious as to who imagines this.

Emily Groff:

I think it started when I was eight or nine years old. I knew someone who has this job, and I just thought it was the best thing ever.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That is fantastic.

Emily Groff:

Yes.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That is fantastic. And was there a particular type of museum that you wanted to work in?

Emily Groff:

No? Well, back then probably one geared towards kids.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's brilliant. Oh, beautiful. Good, good. Emily, would people describe you, personality wise, would they describe you as an introvert or an extrovert? And would you agree?

Emily Groff:

Definitely an introvert. I don't know if you would find anyone who would describe me as an extrovert. They would probably be right.

Japhet De Oliveira:

They'd probably be right? Ok. All right. And then let's talk a little bit about your habits here. Are you one of those early rises or a late night owl?

Emily Groff:

I'm an early riser, a little more so with toddlers, but-

Japhet De Oliveira:

I was going to say, is that because of your kids?

Emily Groff:

It's half because of that.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Half, because of that. All right. This morning, what was the very first thought that came through your mind as you woke up?

Emily Groff:

That I wanted coffee.

Japhet De Oliveira:

I hear you. I hear you. That's fair enough. That's fair enough. And then here's a leadership question. You're a phenomenal leader, and so I'm curious to see how you're going to answer this. Are you a backseat driver?

Emily Groff:

My husband Justin would say yes. But I think I can redeem myself because when I backseat drive, it's usually because we're stopped at a green light and I'm telling him that he can go ahead and go. So really, I'm driving things forward.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Uh-huh (affirmative). I do not know what that is like at all. I don't know. I think it's because I can't see the green lights in particular. My entire family tells me this, "Dad, it's green." I'm like, come on. I hear you. I hear you. I may have some empathy with Justin on this particular issue.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's great. That's good to hear. All right. So we're done with the very first, I mean, these were very simple, really easy. So now we dive into the beautiful stuff. The 11 to 100. Emily, where would you like to go?

Emily Groff:

Oh boy, let's go with 17.

Japhet De Oliveira:

17. All right then. Share what day is the most special day to you on the calendar and why?

Emily Groff:

That's a hard one. I think that now, well, it's two days. I think that now it's my kids' birthdays because I love, especially now that they're getting a little older, I love to see that excitement light up on their face.

Japhet De Oliveira:

You weren't going to pick just one of them?

Emily Groff:

No, I mean, they might listen to this when they get older. It could cause some problems.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's great. It's true though, isn't it? It's beautiful to see the joy that they have. It's astounding the excitement. That's wonderful. Love that. All right. Where do you want to go now, up or down?

Emily Groff:

Let's keep going up. Let's do 26.

Japhet De Oliveira:

26. All right. Tell us about one thing that you love most people do not.

Emily Groff:

Hmm.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Something you love the most that people do not.

Emily Groff:

I love really strange genres of music that most people probably would not love. Not like hardcore death metal rock or anything like that. I love things like obscure, I don't know, polka music. Just funny like old German. Not that I listened to it all the time, but I just love really strange off-the-wall music. I drive my family nuts by playing it.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's pretty interesting. That's great. That's great. Beautiful. It speaks to your personality. That's lovely. All right. Where do you want to go next?

Emily Groff:

Let's do 32.

Japhet De Oliveira:

32. All right. If you were featured on the local news, what would the new story likely be? All right. Yeah.

Emily Groff:

It would probably be one of those low speed police chases because they would be pulling me over but I wouldn't realize it because, I don't know, I'd be listening to polka music or something. And so I would be driving down the road and there would be driving after me five cop cars and I just wouldn't notice.

Japhet De Oliveira:

And it'd be a real slow speed chase?

Emily Groff:

Yes. Like 20 miles an hour.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Ok, great. I'm kind of curious as to why they'd all be pulling you over, but that's all right.

Emily Groff:

I don't know [inaudible 00:09:56].

Japhet De Oliveira:

Good. All right. Where'd you want to go next?

Emily Groff:

Let's do 37.

Japhet De Oliveira:

37. All right. Oh, ok. What do you like most about your family?

Emily Groff:

I love that feeling of togetherness that's not complicated at all. When you can just be together, sitting around and enjoying each other's company, and hours will go by and you won't notice. I feel that a lot with my family and I love it. It just feels like home.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's actually a beautiful description of what families should actually be like for people. Time should fly by and it should be comfortable. That's beautiful. I like that. Yeah. That's beautiful. Well, thanks for painting that picture. Where do you want to go after 37?

Emily Groff:

Let's do 52.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Ok. 52. Oh, share what motivates you.

Emily Groff:

I'm very motivated by myself. I get competitive and I feel like I always need to do my best with whatever I'm doing and if I'm not doing my best, then I need to do better. So I'm very motivated by knowing that I put my best effort into whatever I'm doing.

Japhet De Oliveira:

For our listeners, if you've never worked with Emily on our project, and I've worked with Emily on many projects over the last decade and stuff on different ideas. And she is definitely self-motivated. So it's interesting to hear, Emily, where self motivation comes from. From a competitive nature, you're saying? The introvert who's competitive. Ok. That's good. All right. This is great. Right. But I mean, you take your work very seriously. You take pride in delivering quality, and I appreciate that about you as well. That's great.

Emily Groff:

Thank you.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah. Lovely. Where would you like to go next?

Emily Groff:

Let's do 62.

Japhet De Oliveira:

All right, 62. What does a sense of community mean to you?

Emily Groff:

A sense of community means to me being comfortable, but also people that push you to be uncomfortable. So I guess it would be a balance between those two, a place where you feel safe, but also where people will push you to do your best, where you know that love is really genuine and real. That's kind of an ambiguous answer.

Japhet De Oliveira:

No, I think that's beautiful. You're talking about accountability.

Emily Groff:

Yes.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yes. That's beautiful. I like that a lot. That was great. Good. Where would you like to go next?

Emily Groff:

Let's keep going up. Let's do 68.

Japhet De Oliveira:

68. If you could learn one new professional skill, what would it be?

Emily Groff:

Oh. There are a lot of things that I would learn. I think that I would really become fluent in a second language. I feel like that's a great thing to know. You're able to communicate with more people in a way that's meaningful to them.

Japhet De Oliveira:

I like the way you described that, "in a way that's more meaningful to them." Do you know which language you would be interested in?

Emily Groff:

Spanish or French, maybe both.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Ok. Oh ok, two. Great. Fantastic. Good. Hey, that's beautiful. That's beautiful. Good. Where do you want to go next, up or down?

Emily Groff:

Let's do 75.

Japhet De Oliveira:

75. All right. Do you remember the very first item that you purchased with your own money? And if so, what was it and why did you buy it?

Emily Groff:

I do. I have no idea why I bought it. I saved my allowance for several weeks and bought one of those plastic kiddie pools from the grocery store as a kid. It seemed like a really expensive purchase at the time. It was probably $14. But I eyed it for weeks and I just knew that I wanted it. I guess that's why I bought it. And finally I had enough and I got it and I don't ever remember playing with it. I don't know what happened. I guess it was just better in my mind than in reality. But it was a plastic kiddie pool.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Ok. All right, great. Oh, the great memories that we have. All right. Those moments. All right, good. Where would you like to go next?

Emily Groff:

77.

Japhet De Oliveira:

77. All right. Share one of the most cup-filling experiences with us.

Emily Groff:

Cup-filling experiences. I had the opportunity to be with a lot of my family members. Terrible circumstances, but my dad passed away a few years ago of cancer. After that happened, I had a lot of opportunity to spend quality time with some of my family members who I hadn't previously. I don't know if it was because I didn't make time for it, or I just didn't see that opportunity before me. But after that happened, it had a way of bringing me a lot closer to people in my family, my stepbrothers, sisters, that I hadn't previously had those solid relationships with.

Emily Groff:

And it was actually a really beautiful thing that became of this. We just spent a lot of very cup-filling moments together. Just really genuine, genuine time. That time I was talking about before, where time just passes and you're just together and enjoying the moment. And so there's a lot of beauty from that in my life, really cherishing those relationships that I hadn't really seen before.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's that's beautiful. Your father was an amazing man. Actually, I can visualize his face right now, his smile and his eyes. He was an amazing pastor, amazing person.

Emily Groff:

Yes.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And lovely to hear lovely that out of that loss and pain, such a strength and beauty came as well. So that's good. That's good. Thank you. Thank you for sharing that. Where would you like move on the numbers now?

Emily Groff:

I feel like we're getting really high with these questions.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Well, you're good. Your choice.

Emily Groff:

Let's do 79.

Japhet De Oliveira:

79. All right. Well, can you share a painful memory you wish you could forget?

Emily Groff:

That is a deep one.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yes, yes.

Emily Groff:

Yeah. I have some painful memories as a kid that would be great to forget. My childhood was kind of funny. As a kid I felt ignored much of the time, and I remember that really, really deep feeling of hurt, of being a kid and feeling ignored. Like you weren't a priority. As a kid, I remember kind of reliving those little moments where I felt like that over and over and over again, and it's probably something that I would like to forget.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Do you think, Emily, that it's what's actually shaped you now to be a person? Because I know that you're a person that actually looks out for people today.

Emily Groff:

Absolutely. And that's the flip side of it. Right? Is everything that happens in our lives shapes us. And if we try, I think they can shape us for the better. And so the flip side is you wouldn't really ever want to forget anything. Right?

Japhet De Oliveira:

It is possible. It is possible. I mean, it's amazing, but it takes time to process that. Not everybody can do that straightaway, but I have seen that in you, that you actually do look out for people. You try to make sure that people are included and not left out. I don't know where that came from, but maybe that's where it comes from.

Emily Groff:

Thank you.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Thank you for sharing that.

Emily Groff:

Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Good. So we were at 79. Where would you like to go next?

Emily Groff:

Let's just keep going up very slowly.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Ok. Very slowly. All right. All right. Maybe 80. All right then. How would you like to change in the future?

Emily Groff:

There are always so many ways that we can change and improve that I can get into. I would like to be someone who plans ahead in every aspect of life. I'm not really like that now. I go with the flow a lot. But in a perfect world, I would be someone who would really plan ahead, like I'd know what I was having for dinner next week. That's not reality right now, but it sounds great.

Japhet De Oliveira:

I think there's a lot of people that would love to know that, Oh, I like that too. I've tried that as well. But I hear you. That'd be great. Good. Good. All right. After 80, where would you like to go?

Emily Groff:

85.

Japhet De Oliveira:

85. All right. Describe a role model you aspire to be like.

Emily Groff:

Oh yes. When I first started working for Adventist Health quite a while ago, I worked for Heather Van Housen, who was at that time chief nursing officer of what was Ukiah Valley Medical Center. And she is amazing.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yes, she is.

Emily Groff:

She is still amazing. But I learned so, so much from her. I watched her lead and I just remember thinking like, "She's got this." She leads with love, but yet with authority. She is so genuine about everything that she did, and it was so easy to see that she cared so much for all of the nurses, for everyone at the hospital. And she is just someone who's amazing. I would love to be like her. She is just an incredibly genuine, caring person, and a great leader.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Well, I do believe that you are. And so I think you're doing exceptionally well. That's brilliant. That's lovely to hear. It's good to always to hear that we have great role models like that. Fantastic. Thank you. All right. Where next, Emily?

Emily Groff:

How much time do we have left?

Japhet De Oliveira:

We're doing fine. I'll let you know when we get to the point where, "Hey, you have enough for two more questions." You're doing exceptionally well. I didn't know I was going to cover all 100.

Emily Groff:

I know. Let's go to 65.

Japhet De Oliveira:

65. Ok. All right. Fair enough. Share one word. This is beautiful. I love this. Share one word that would describe your past. Then could you unpack that one word?

Emily Groff:

Oh yes.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah.

Emily Groff:

It has been, yes. Yes is not my word. I don't know why this is coming to my mind, but the word a ride. Well, that's two words. A journey. It's been a journey. There's a lot that's happened and not necessarily a journey in a straight line, more of a really curvy, like a little-

Japhet De Oliveira:

If you could watch Emily right now, she was doing something with her arms.

Emily Groff:

Yeah. I'm doing hand gestures. You know, like a curvy Northern California road, something like that with a lot of stop signs. There's been a lot of twists and turns. Yeah, I mentioned earlier, not to get too crazy, but my childhood was interesting. It probably wasn't very normal as I'm sure a lot of people's are not very normal. But I've learned a lot. And I've had a lot of really great opportunities.

Emily Groff:

I mentioned my dad before. He was always just an amazing constant in my life, and went out of his way over and over again as I was growing up to take me on adventures, take me on journeys, show me new things in the world. He took me to Australia as a kid, and all around the United States on a train. He was just always taking me somewhere to show me just these amazing things. And it shaped me a lot. It had a profound impact on me. And yeah, it's been a curvy road, but a really good one. And parts of it, a lot of it, has been a road with really beautiful scenery that I can enjoy.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's beautiful.

Emily Groff:

Hopefully it keeps on going.

Japhet De Oliveira:

I like that. I liked that a lot. That was good. All right. Where would you like to go next?

Emily Groff:

Let's go to 72.

Japhet De Oliveira:

72. All right. Tell us about what you want to do when you retire and why you're waiting.

Emily Groff:

When I retire, probably not coming up too soon, I would just love to have time to spend with my grandkids. And I'm waiting because I obviously don't have grandkids yet. My kids are four and two. But I just love that. I would love to be able to do that when I get older, just live way out in the country somewhere and enjoy my family.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's fair enough. And I think we now know why you're waiting. All right. That's good. That's fair enough. Good. Well, we have time for, get this, for two more questions. Believe it or not. So what are your last two numbers?

Emily Groff:

All right, let's go up again. Let's do 93.

Japhet De Oliveira:

93. All right. Paint us a picture of success.

Emily Groff:

I think success has more to do with the joy you feel in life than perhaps your accomplishments in life. I think that if I could just feel joy about what I'm doing for work, about my family, just about life in general. At the end of the day, if I can feel joy, then I feel like that's success. And also I think almost more important than that is that if I know that I've made other people feel joy along the way as well.

Japhet De Oliveira:

I like that. That's beautiful. That's really good. Good. All right, your last number. Which one would you like?

Emily Groff:

I don't know if I can do 100. Let's go really close. Let's do 99.

Japhet De Oliveira:

99. All right. Well, it's still a complex question. So what is the most difficult truth that you ever told?

Emily Groff:

The most difficult truth that I ever told. Well, I think it was probably as a kid as well. It probably was not my place to do this, but as a kid I remember on a few occasions confronting my mom and asking her what she was doing and why, basically questioning her life choices. And it was very difficult for me as a kid. I remember telling her the truth piece, basically confronting her about decisions and asking her why those things were taking place. And I was, I don't know, nine, 10 years old at this time, and I remember getting really nervous about it, but just feeling like it's something I have to ask. It's something I have to say, which is a lot for a little kid.

Emily Groff:

I don't know why I felt that heavy desire to say something, and question, and ask. But I remember being in several situations like that and thinking, "This isn't right. I need to say something." I mean, I was a young kid, but I just had this heavy feeling that I needed to do that and it was difficult.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Thank you for sharing that, Emily. I think it actually speaks volumes into who you are from an early age, but I see that in your life, in your relationships, in your friendships. And for those of you who know Emily, and if you've never met Emily you should know this, she is a deep person of integrity. And I see this. You feel compelled somehow to make sure that things are congruent all the time, and I value that in you. And I think it's something that's admirable. I think it takes you to difficult places, but it's actually something really needed in this world today. So thank you for being faithful to that and for leading in that way as well. Yeah. It's good.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Thank you for being part of this, for being part of The Story & Experience Podcast, and for sharing and for being so honest, and for covering so many questions as well. It's beautiful.

Japhet De Oliveira:

I want to encourage everybody who's listening to just try this as well. Connect with your friends. Connect with the community. Share your story and experience with each other because when you do, you learn and you transform the world, and you make it a better space as well. You will discover new things about yourself and you will discover new things about others as well. And it's a beautiful thing. Get a good cup of tea as well. It actually helps a lot. So Emily, it's been a pleasure.

Emily Groff:

Thank you for having me.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Absolutely.

Narrator:

Thank you for joining us for The Story & Experience Podcast. We invite you to read, watch, and submit your story and experience at adventisthealth.org/story. The Story & Experience Podcast was brought to you by Adventist Health through the Office of Culture.