Francesca Moore
Episode 168

Narrator: Welcome friends to another episode of The Story and Experience Podcast. Join your host, Japhet De Oliveira with his guest today and discover the moments that shape us, our families and communities.

Japhet De Oliveira: Hey, welcome friends to another episode of The Story and Experience Podcast. I am going to be interviewing somebody today. You'll see, you'll see. It's going to be fun. That's kind of exciting to me and a surprise for you. And if you're brand new to the podcast, we have 100 questions. We don't get through all of them, but they are about stories and experiences that shape this person into the leader that they are today. I ask the first 10, and they either pick a number and we'll see where the story goes. As you get closer to 100, they obviously become more vulnerable, so we'll see where they want to go. Let me begin with the first one. Could you tell us your name and does anybody ever mispronounce it?

Francesca Moore: Well, my name is Francesca Moore, and yes, my I have... Well, Francesca can be said, Francisco, Francisca, Francis, you name it.

Japhet De Oliveira: Everyone's tried it?

Francesca Moore: Everybody's tried it one way or the other.

Japhet De Oliveira: And Francesca, do you correct them when they say your name wrong?

Francesca Moore: No, I let them do it. The only time I don't is the abbreviation, Fran, and that's just like nails down a chalkboard.

Japhet De Oliveira: But there's a couple of people that are called Fran that I know.

Francesca Moore: Which is fine, but not here.

Japhet De Oliveira: Hey, that's great. That's great. Francesca, what do you do for work?

Francesca Moore: Well, I work in a department called Integrated Disability Absence Management, and I lead the program. And so, that sounds like a really long, complicated name for what I like to be able to say in layman's terms is taking care of employees who need to go on leave of absence.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay.

Francesca Moore: So they could be taking time off for pregnancy, they're getting ready to have that new baby, or their mother-in-law needs care and needs to be taken to the hospital, childcare, serious health conditions, whatever that life event is, we're the people that take care of that.

Japhet De Oliveira: Do you work out all the policies for that and the procedures?

Francesca Moore: Oh, yes.

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh, everything?

Francesca Moore: Oh, yes. Well, actually, I like to say the federal and state governments like to make the policies and then we get to review them and say, "Okay, well how much time off in California does this person get?" Or, "For this leave reason, how much time do you get?"

So yeah, what we do is we take all that information back and think about, "How do we make this as simple as possible with all these different entitlements and rules? How do we just make this easy for the employee?" They just let us know how long they need to be off, for what reason, and we make that work for them.

Japhet De Oliveira: You make it work?

Francesca Moore: Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira: Now, you do this for Adventist Health, so it's across several states. And so, it's different in every state and the rules and all that?

Francesca Moore: Oh, yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay.

Francesca Moore: Oh yes, most definitely. I can think New York, Oregon, Washington State, California-

Japhet De Oliveira: Everything's different.

Francesca Moore: ... everything's different. We have a lot of broad different leave times, which I'm glad. I mean, we think about we're bringing our real selves to work every day, but life doesn't stop going, does it? You're going to have time off for babies. You may need that medical procedure. Our bodies are not meant to last forever. So, yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh, that hit me, actually. So I presume after COVID where a lot of people became remote, people are living everywhere now.

Francesca Moore: Absolutely, nationwide.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay.

Francesca Moore: So what they do in Connecticut or Nashville or Michigan is going to be totally different to what's being done in California or New York.

Japhet De Oliveira: So have you done this all your life?

Francesca Moore: Yes. All my adulting life.

Japhet De Oliveira: Your adulting life, okay. All right. All right. Tell us, where were you born?

Francesca Moore: I was born in London, England.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yes, yes.

Francesca Moore: So we have commonality, I think there.

Japhet De Oliveira: God save the King.

Francesca Moore: Absolutely. I'm still used to the Queen.

Japhet De Oliveira: I know, I know.

Francesca Moore: I haven't got to the King yet. It's because we're over here.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Francesca Moore: Yes, born in London. Spent my younger part of my life there. But when I turned 26, and I don't think I want to share my age, but when I turned 26, we came to the UK. And the goal was, we'll stay about four years. My husband was military at the time, and then we'll go back to England. And so, we've been here about 34 years now.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay, all right. We can do some math.

Francesca Moore: Yes.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's great. That's great. Well, I'm very happy for you. That's great. So now, when you were a child growing up in London, what did you imagine you would grow up to be?

Francesca Moore: Well, I certainly didn't imagine I'd be in California. When I think about what we thought about California back then, it was surfboards and beaches.

Japhet De Oliveira: Sure, yeah.

Francesca Moore: And so, never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd be landing here.

Japhet De Oliveira: Do you surf?

Francesca Moore: No, absolutely not.

Japhet De Oliveira: Categorically.

Francesca Moore: I'll be needing a leave of absence, too, if I did that. Absolutely not. But no, when I was growing up, I think I had the same desires as everybody else. I knew I was going to be a mom and I'm a mom of four. I knew I was going to work, but I had no concept. I knew it was going to be business in some way, shape, or form, or at least that's what my degree was in. But how we landed in HR, that was never quite on the purview. But I'm glad. But I think most people say that. Most people say that.

Japhet De Oliveira: And then, it just happened? It just happened?

Francesca Moore: Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira: Now are you an early riser or a late night owl?

Francesca Moore: Oh, I'm an early riser.

Japhet De Oliveira: And what's early for you?

Francesca Moore: Oh, I think I'm about 5:00 A.M. every day. I like to take the day slowly. I don't want to come out the gates running. But then you can set the clock for me at night about 9:20.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, it's time.

Francesca Moore: Yeah, I'm either going to bed or I'm asleep, one of the two.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's fair enough. So this morning when you woke up at 5:00 A.M., first thought that went through your mind?

Francesca Moore: Tea.

Japhet De Oliveira: Tea.

Francesca Moore: I need a cup of tea.

Japhet De Oliveira: Is that your first drink of the day?

Francesca Moore: Absolutely.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, and how do you have your tea?

Francesca Moore: Oh, exactly the same way as every British person does. I have my morning Tetley.

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh, really?

Francesca Moore: With one sugar and cream.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's nice. That's nice.

Francesca Moore: Yes, you've got to start every day with a cup of tea.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's really good. Oh, yeah. How many cups of tea do you have a day?

Francesca Moore: Oh, my gosh. About one every hour and a half.

Japhet De Oliveira: Every 90 minutes, there we go.

Francesca Moore: Exactly.

Japhet De Oliveira: Fair enough. It is very easy. It's very easy. All right, that's super. Tell me, if people were to describe you, would they say you were an introvert or an extrovert and would you agree?

Francesca Moore: Well, that's a really good question because I just had this discussion this morning.

Japhet De Oliveira: Really?

Francesca Moore: Absolutely.

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh really?

Francesca Moore: In fact, I have it quite a bit when I have to come into the work environment. I work from home, I would say, what do they call it, an ambivert?

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, yeah.

Francesca Moore: Yeah. I love being in front of people. I love talking. I love people. I have a great time. But then when I go home, I go home, and it'll take me about a week to get over it.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, I've seen you do presentations. It's good.

Francesca Moore: I put a lot of energy in.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, no, it's good. Yeah. Hey, that's fair. That's fair. That's actually pretty good. All right, here's a leadership question for you and then I'm going to hand it over to you. Are you a backseat driver?

Francesca Moore: No.

Japhet De Oliveira: No?

Francesca Moore: Not at all. I think my father, when he taught me to drive in England, back then we had five speeds. There was no such thing as an automatic.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's perfect.

Francesca Moore: And he put me on a hill and said, "Okay," in the middle of a hill-

Japhet De Oliveira: Great, great. Enjoy the clutch.

Francesca Moore: First I... Exactly. And he said, "You're either going to roll down the hill, or you're going to drive it up the hill." And ever since then, I've applied my driving lessons to my work life and saying, "I like to drive. I like to be in front."

Japhet De Oliveira: All right. Hey, that's good. Well, the floor is open, Francesca, where would you like to go? I mean, anywhere from 11 to 100?

Francesca Moore: Well, 100, that's that being a leader again. Let's start 100, absolutely not.

Japhet De Oliveira: I was like, "All right."

Francesca Moore: Let's start at 15.

Japhet De Oliveira: 15. All right, here it is. What's the one thing that you always misplace?

Francesca Moore: Oh, my phone.

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh, really? Okay.

Francesca Moore: Yes. I have Google at home and I'm forever saying, "Okay, Google, where's my phone? Where's my phone?" And it's usually buried under a piece of paper or it's left in the laundry room.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's good. That's good. All right, good. That was 15. So where next?

Francesca Moore: Let's do increments of five. Let's do 20.

Japhet De Oliveira: 20, all right. Oh, tell us something you would rate, Francesca would say, "This is worth 10 out of 10?"

Francesca Moore: Something I would rate 10 out of 10. Well, I would certainly rate Apple products.

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh, really? Okay.

Francesca Moore: And you would never think that you would, but when I think about how we managed our lives back in the day and always having to print off a piece of calendar, carry a binder, I don't know, I'm aging myself.

Japhet De Oliveira: The…

Francesca Moore: Exactly. Apple products are amazing that you can go everywhere. You've got your calendar, you can stay in touch. I think those are wonderful.

Japhet De Oliveira: Were you a Blackberry user?

Francesca Moore: Yes.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yes, yes.

Francesca Moore: I remember when those came out and I'm like, "Oh my gosh, my life is saved."

Japhet De Oliveira: And that keyboard. Yeah, yeah.

Francesca Moore: Right.

Japhet De Oliveira: But Apple products, okay, good. But you asked Google at home, you said?

Francesca Moore: I do.

Japhet De Oliveira: Not Siri?

Francesca Moore: No. Well, I have Siri, but my husband, he's the Google person. He is trying to get me to go into the Samsung. I'm like, "Absolutely not. That requires too much to do. Apple is simple."

Japhet De Oliveira: This is a great podcast. It's going so well. Okay, I'm kidding. What's the next question? Which number?

Francesca Moore: Oh, let's go to 43.

Japhet De Oliveira: 43, all right. Oh, tell us about the best gift you've ever received?

Francesca Moore: The best gift I ever received.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Francesca Moore: Well, I won't say my Apple iPhone. Best gift I ever... My brand new car. My first ever car.

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh, really?

Francesca Moore: When I came to the United States, I'm used to driving on the other side of the road, and I decided even though I could drive a five speed, I was terrified. I'm like, "I can't think and chew gum. Drive this five speed car on the wrong side of the road." So I got a brand new car from my husband, and it was automatic and it was the best gift ever. I felt like I could go places then.

Japhet De Oliveira: Do you remember what the car was?

Francesca Moore: It was a Nissan Sentra back in the day. Now, didn't I think that was great? It was brand new. I never had one a day in my life, so I just knew that this was going to be awesome.

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh, that's fantastic. That's great. Well, he'll love hearing this then. Good. All right. Where next? That was 43.

Francesca Moore: Oh, let's creep along. Let's do 52.

Japhet De Oliveira: 52. Oh, sure. What motivates you?

Francesca Moore: What motivates me? Well, I think people inspire me. If I'm really interested in somebody or something, and there's something I can do to make a difference or bring some value or help people out, people inspire me. I don't think I'd be in human resources in my job or doing leave of absence. I find that people, teams, they inspire me the most.

Japhet De Oliveira: Have you always felt that from an early age or did you learn that or cultivate it?

Francesca Moore: I would say, yes, because I've got a hugely large family in London, a lot of friends. And we tend to be very opinionated about a number of different things. Everybody's got different perspectives and ideas, and I think being around people, learning, leaning in, people all the way around. So it's no surprise I'm in the work I do. They inspire me all the time.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's great. That's great. I do sense that about you as well, from seeing your presentations. You have to meet Francesca in person. Yeah, I'm encouraging everybody who's listening to do so. It'll be good. It'll be good. All right, good. Where next?

Francesca Moore: Oh, let's see. Do I have to keep going higher or lower?

Japhet De Oliveira: You can go up or down.

Francesca Moore: I can go anywhere I like.

Japhet De Oliveira: Isn't that great?

Francesca Moore: Let's do 38.

Japhet De Oliveira: 38, all right. I wouldn't pick that one. No, I'm kidding. If you needed encouragement, who would you call?

Francesca Moore: If I needed encouragement-

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Francesca Moore: I would actually say that's my middle daughter. My husband, he used to be the number one, still is, but my middle daughter, she's-

Japhet De Oliveira: Really?

Francesca Moore: Yeah. She's the one that encourages me out of all my kids. She's the first in her management role, and she's also a new mom and she's starting to understand a lot of the different things in the work environment. So I go to her for encouragement in my work and friends.

Japhet De Oliveira: That is lovely.

Francesca Moore: Absolutely.

Japhet De Oliveira: Isn't it great to have that kind of relationship with your kids?

Francesca Moore: Yeah, totally changed.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, it does change, right?

Francesca Moore: Totally changed, yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh, that's fantastic. And she's got a child?

Francesca Moore: Oh yeah, she's got one.

Japhet De Oliveira: So you're a grandmother?

Francesca Moore: Oh yeah, I'm a grandmother of five.

Japhet De Oliveira: Are you granny or grandmother?

Francesca Moore: Oh no, I'm grandma.

Japhet De Oliveira: Just checking.

Francesca Moore: You knew the answer.

Japhet De Oliveira: Well, you know.

Francesca Moore: You knew the answer.

Japhet De Oliveira: We should check. All right, where next?

Francesca Moore: All right, let's do 32.

Japhet De Oliveira: 32. If you were featured on the local news, what would the news story likely be?

Francesca Moore: Oh, it would have to be the weather.

Japhet De Oliveira: Really?

Francesca Moore: In fact, I changed my mind. After going through kind of the election and everything else, it would have to be that. I'd love to do the news and be the political analyst, but I don't know that I've got the best filter for it. But there was a lot going on, so yeah, if I had to be on the news, a political analyst.

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh, really? Okay. Yeah, that'll be fun. That'd be fun. All right, where next?

Francesca Moore: Okay, let's do 49.

Japhet De Oliveira: 49. Oh, what are you currently learning about and why?

Francesca Moore: What am I currently learning about and why? Technology, I think mainly.

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh, really?

Francesca Moore: Yeah. I think that-

Japhet De Oliveira: For work?

Francesca Moore: Mainly work, but it always carries into your home life one way or the other.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, it does.

Francesca Moore: But our world has evolved so much in our personal lives with online banking, online bill pay, text communications, appointment reminders. And I'm like, "Why do we not have this in our life at work?"

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Francesca Moore: So spending a lot of time on technology and how to use it in our work environment. So that's kind of neat, how to take very silo programs and say, "So how do you connect the dots? What's out there? What can we use?"

Japhet De Oliveira: That's true.

Francesca Moore: So, it's always fascinated me, but I guess I'm the most non-techie person you can ever meet. I have a great idea, but I'm not the one to do it.

Japhet De Oliveira: So how do you feel about technology as a whole? Because some people suggest that maybe it's a lot now, and it's even more complex and hasn't simplified our lives. Do you feel like it is still?

Francesca Moore: I agree. I think it's evolved so much that I think it leaves different individuals behind. So I think for... I'm helping take care of my mother-in-law and my own mother now, and they want to be able to figure out what their bank balance is and how to be able to call and find out about their AT&T phone bill. And there is no provision anymore to be able to understand that older people are not comfortable. They want to be able to walk into the bank and talk to that person.

Japhet De Oliveira: See a person.

Francesca Moore: And so, technology has moved so rapidly that you're like, "It's amazing it can support so many things." But it can leave people behind, too, and make them feel very isolated and actually somewhat vulnerable when there's not that understanding.

Japhet De Oliveira: It's true. It's true.

Francesca Moore: Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira: It's good. Good insight. All right, where next?

Francesca Moore: Let's see. Let's do 61.

Japhet De Oliveira: 61. Oh, tell us about a time in your life, Francesca, where you just needed incredible courage.

Francesca Moore: Oh, gosh. That was a flashback. So, coming to the United States, we drive completely on the wrong side of the road or the right side, depending which way you you want to look at it.

Japhet De Oliveira: Depending which…

Francesca Moore: Exactly. And so coming to... And our roads are very small, very narrow, single ways. I suppose it could be quite frightening for people driving in our country, but I was used to that. When I came to California, everything was so huge.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yes, that's true.

Francesca Moore: And all on the wrong side of the road. People are walking on the wrong side of the road, sidewalks are running out. Just trying to get used to driving, and making sure I'm not actually hitting anyone crossing the road, it was terrifying. I would have to completely know exactly where I was going, how long it was going to take, and the exact directions for me to go somewhere. I was terrified to drive.

Japhet De Oliveira: So how long did it take you to become comfortable with that?

Francesca Moore: Oh, I would say a good year.

Japhet De Oliveira: A good year. And then, when you went back to London, did you feel like you switched-

Francesca Moore: Oh, I don't drive.

Japhet De Oliveira: Really?

Francesca Moore: Absolutely not. I'm terrified of driving there now. No, I drove in Spain because that's on the same side of the road as us.

Japhet De Oliveira: So when you went from England to France, and you just had to switch over, did you feel like... Did you ever do that drive?

Francesca Moore: No.

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh, okay. I just saw your face.

Francesca Moore: Absolutely not. My husband felt it was safer that he did that.

Japhet De Oliveira: You're so funny. All right. All right, where next?

Francesca Moore: All right, let's do, I'm going to go back again.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, sure.

Francesca Moore: Let's do 24.

Japhet De Oliveira: 24. Oh, tell us about a time you were over or underdressed for an occasion.

Francesca Moore: Well, first, we are never underdressed for an occasion. But no, it has happened. Where was I? I think we were going up to the Oregon coast, meeting friends, going out to dinner. And of course going out to dinner to meet was, we have to look somewhat presentable when we go.

Japhet De Oliveira: Sure, we do. How'd you do?

Francesca Moore: And so, I'm wearing a nice dress and slacks and everything else. And I'm walking into this kind of dive bar, seafood place. And it was great. The food was amazing. Everybody's in shorts, t-shirts, and everything else, and I felt really out of pace.

Japhet De Oliveira: But probably hold our head up high. That's fine.

Francesca Moore: Exactly.

Japhet De Oliveira: All right, where next?

Francesca Moore: All right, let's do 64.

Japhet De Oliveira: 64, all right. When you look back at your life, could you tell us a moment where you thought, "What was I thinking?"

Francesca Moore: Well, I do have four children, and there were quite a few times when I thought to myself, "What was I thinking?" But no, not really.

Japhet De Oliveira: Every parent has that.

Francesca Moore: Exactly, especially when they're mainly girls.

Japhet De Oliveira: Sure.

Francesca Moore: I think when I made a career change. I moved from healthcare into a tech company, which was amazing. I needed to be able to do that. I'd been in healthcare for so long, and I had a great time. I was stretching muscles in places that I hadn't done before, more looking at scalability than employee experience. But the culture was just so different. And I remember sitting there going, "What did I do? What did I do?" And I had a great time. But it only took me a year and a half to come back into healthcare.

Japhet De Oliveira: There you go. There you go. Well, lucky healthcare. It was good. Yeah. Good. All right, where next after that?

Francesca Moore: Let's do 76.

Japhet De Oliveira: 76, all right. Oh, tell us about where you feel the safest and why.

Francesca Moore: It's a very boring answer, but it's a very real one. I actually feel my safest at home, and more so now that we've worked from home. I've worked from home for so long now that the ambivert person that I am is becoming more of an introvert. Actually, peopling on a day to day is quite a lot. So, I love being in my home environment around my dogs, door closed, around my things, cozy, comfy.

Japhet De Oliveira: What dogs do you have?

Francesca Moore: Oh, I have mutts. I have a big mutt and a small mutt. Nobody knows what they're mixed with, but yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira: Are you going to do that DNA test on them?

Francesca Moore: Oh no, no. They are who they are. They're older guys now, too. But yeah, I rescue. I rescue animals.

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh, really?

Francesca Moore: My husband, bless him, he's like, "What dog are we rescuing now?"

My other one had passed away and I said, "Oh, don't worry. He looks very malnourished and small," and we got there and he was about 90 pounds.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay. Not small.

Francesca Moore: Not small, no.

Japhet De Oliveira: You need an elevator to put him in the car.

Francesca Moore: Right.

Japhet De Oliveira: Good. All right, where next?

Francesca Moore: Let's do 65.

Japhet De Oliveira: 65, all right. Share one word that you could use to describe your past and then unpack that one word.

Francesca Moore: Oh, gosh. Let me think about one word.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, one word.

Francesca Moore: That's a challenge because I can think of three. One word. I'd say chaotic, healthily chaotic.

Japhet De Oliveira: Chaotic?

Francesca Moore: Well, that's two words.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's okay, that's the qualifier.

Francesca Moore: Yeah, chaotic.

Japhet De Oliveira: Chaotic.

Francesca Moore: It's always chaotic.

Japhet De Oliveira: So, why?

Francesca Moore: I've had four children, always had at least two dogs. They've always had some other, three other animals. They've all had different games. My husband was in law enforcement, so he worked a million miles an hour. I was working. And between all of our activities, our personal lives, our family members, running the kids everywhere-

Japhet De Oliveira: And you have a large family.

Francesca Moore: Huge family. It was just always chaotic. There was always something going on, but I would say it was fun chaotic, more than anything else. I think it gets dull otherwise. But yes, life was always chaos. And to a certain degree, sometimes always is. If nothing new or if nothing's going on that you have to course correct and take a different direction on, it would be pretty dull.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay. Tell me about your last Thanksgiving, this is a bonus question, and what you're planning for this Christmas.

Francesca Moore: My last Thanksgiving, well that was clearly this year and not that long ago. But yeah, we actually did it at home and I cheated.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay.

Francesca Moore: I cheated.

Japhet De Oliveira: How?

Francesca Moore: I found out that Nuggets Markets in California, very high end, very lovely food in there, happened to do holiday meals. So I thought, "Oh, I'm going to try some of that."

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh, really?

Francesca Moore: So I ordered the majority of my holiday sides and everything.

Japhet De Oliveira: All made.

Francesca Moore: All made, done by a chef. Absolutely wonderful. And I'm ashamed to say that when I did the turkey and put it on the table, I took complete credit for it all.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's great. That's great. The podcast revealed the truth.

Francesca Moore: Yes.

Japhet De Oliveira: So Christmas, what are you planning for Christmas?

Francesca Moore: Christmas, actually that's going to be quiet. We are going to be home, just hubby and I. But my younger two will probably be coming in and spending some time. But as quiet as it can be in our house anyway.

Japhet De Oliveira: With two dogs, two mutts.

Francesca Moore: Right.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's good. All right, where next?

Francesca Moore: Let's do... Let's make it challenging. Let's do a 98.

Japhet De Oliveira: A 98. All right. What's one great thing that you're capable of achieving?

Francesca Moore: One great thing that I'm capable of. Let me think about that. Oh, my gosh, I really do have to think about... I don't know that I can think of any one particular thing.

Japhet De Oliveira: Sure. That's okay.

Francesca Moore: Wow. One great thing that I'm capable of achieving. Undoing or making sense of things that have a lot of complexity, a lot of silos, a lot of complexity. And bringing things together in a way that it's simplified. I like simplifying. So yeah, that's one thing.

Japhet De Oliveira: For other people?

Francesca Moore: Yeah, other people. It can sometimes be for myself, too, if I've got to simplify something. But mainly for other people. Mainly for other people.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's good.

Francesca Moore: I always think to myself, "There's got to be a simple way to do this." You're asking the five whys, "Why are we doing it that way?" Even if it's at home, "Well why are we going that way?" Yeah, simplifying.

Japhet De Oliveira: Good, good. Love that. All right, that was 98.

Francesca Moore: All right, let's go to... Gosh, I'm scared I'm going to repeat a number. You'll have to say that.

Japhet De Oliveira: I'll let you know.

Francesca Moore: Let's try 74.

Japhet De Oliveira: 74, all right, here we go. Oh, what gives you hope?

Francesca Moore: Oh, now that's an easy one.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay.

Francesca Moore: Now I have a very deep-seated faith. I don't know that I necessarily started that when I was younger. I think it grew. I think life experiences, that you tend to either draw closer or you become a non-believer altogether.

Japhet De Oliveira: Sure, yeah.

Francesca Moore: But for me, I think my faith gives me the best hope, because I know when things get really tough and I don't have the answer, which is for a control freak like me, that's very difficult. I've learned to give that up and have trust, and I've seen amazing things happen. I'm a kind of seeing as believing kind of person. And I've seen when hope and relying on your faith, the two come together, and you can see it in action.

Japhet De Oliveira: So you put faith in God?

Francesca Moore: Yeah, absolutely.

Japhet De Oliveira: How did you grow that faith? So if someone is listening to this thinking, "I don't know, I don't know if I believe in God or anything," but how did you get to that place?

Francesca Moore: I think with the kind of work that my husband did. He was in the Air Force and then he moved into the Department of Homeland Security. And so, it was a very dangerous job. In a blink of an eye, your life can be finished or that of the person you're working with.

Japhet De Oliveira: Absolutely.

Francesca Moore: Thinking about the military, having my son in the military, most of my family are in the military, Afghanistan. And then also, with the type of work I do, people are dealing with very serious and chronic health conditions, or going through a tragedy in their life, or dealing with cognitive behavioral health issues, working through terminal illness. When you're faced with those things every single day, which is every single day, for either my husband's work on my own, you learn very, very quickly that you're not always going to get the best possible outcome in these situations.

Japhet De Oliveira: Life is very fragile.

Francesca Moore: Exactly. There has to be more to life when somebody's ending a life or when tragedy happens. Otherwise, what's it all about? And so for me, when you see those things, life in action and you see the way God moves in people, you tend to grow over time. And I've watched other people's faith in the most extreme situations or going through the worst challenges in their lives, that they'll lean into that faith.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yes.

Francesca Moore: And so yeah, it's just grown. As I get older, we see more, we do more, we experience more.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's true.

Francesca Moore: So your faith naturally is going to continue to grow with that because we see it more in action.

Japhet De Oliveira: Love that. Thank you. That was brilliant. All right. Yeah, where next?

Francesca Moore: Where are we going? Where are we going? Let's do a 91.

Japhet De Oliveira: 91. Ooh, describe a time... This is actually so apropos for you. Describe a time in your life when you learned about forgiveness.

Francesca Moore: Four children, I did a lot of forgiving them. Learned about forgiveness. I won't probably speak to the exact time, but I'll give you the example. I think nobody what goes through life where they feel that they could have done something differently or treated somebody a different way. And when I was very young, I had an opportunity to think, "Wow, when I'd engaged with this particular person, I hadn't empathized with the situation at all, didn't understand what they were working through, and I don't think I treated that person as nicely as I could have done."

Japhet De Oliveira: That's…

Francesca Moore: And I had to do two things-

Japhet De Oliveira: So common for all of us.

Francesca Moore: ... forgive myself first.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yes.

Francesca Moore: So when we think of forgiveness, we always think of others. You've got to start and forgive yourself.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yes.

Francesca Moore: And then, when I think about how the other individual actually forgave me that I probably wouldn't have done. And I thought, "That's forgiveness."

Japhet De Oliveira: That's powerful.

Francesca Moore: That's powerful.

Japhet De Oliveira: It is.

Francesca Moore: So we don't want to admit to those moments.

Japhet De Oliveira: But we love grace.

Francesca Moore: But we know... Exactly. But we know we have all been in that situation where we're like, "Oh..." And when that other person forgives you, it's an amazing gift.

Japhet De Oliveira: Do you find it easier when we were younger, to forgive others is easier than to receive the forgiveness?

Francesca Moore: Oh, absolutely, a hundred percent. Absolutely. It's easy, easy, easy to forgive other people, especially when you work toward that spirit. But ourselves, that's tough because you carry those normal things, like guilt or shame. Shame's a big one, right, and they sit with you. So it's hard to forgive yourself.

Japhet De Oliveira: It's good words, Francesca. Hey, so we've only got time, I can't believe this, for two more.

Francesca Moore: Two.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, two more. Two more.

Francesca Moore: Did I already ask you for 100? I have to ask for the 100, right?

Japhet De Oliveira: You can. You can.

Francesca Moore: It's the last question, let's do the 100.

Japhet De Oliveira: 100 and then we'll go to another number, how's that?

Francesca Moore: Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira: All right. All right. So tell me about one question you just don't want to answer.

Francesca Moore: One question that I don't want to answer.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Francesca Moore: Oh, my goodness. Oh, well that's easy. Don't ask me how much weight I am or anything.

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh, really?

Francesca Moore: I'm going to tell you exactly what I'm going to tell my doctor tomorrow and say, "No, no, I don't weigh that at all."

Japhet De Oliveira: So, Francesca, without asking you, how much would you weigh, tell me why you wouldn't want to answer that question.

Francesca Moore: Well, I think because I have always been very, very healthy my whole entire life. And I've been that lucky person that everybody hates and says, "Why does she get to eat a whole chocolate cake and nothing happens at all?" So I've been very fortunate. But working from home, I turned 58 this year.

Japhet De Oliveira: Congratulations.

Francesca Moore: And I'm working from home. So because I'm not exercising or reading as much, I'm kind of spreading out in places I don't want to spread out. So I think I'd have to... First of all, I don't want to answer the question, because then I'd have to acknowledge it.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's interesting. Yeah. Yeah.

Francesca Moore: In about another two months, you can ask me that.

Japhet De Oliveira: There is a lot of pressure around weight in the world.

Francesca Moore: Yes.

Japhet De Oliveira: And it really comes down to image, right, or does it come down to something else?

Francesca Moore: It depends who you ask, but self-worth. Self-worth.

Japhet De Oliveira: I like that.

Francesca Moore: There's a lot of-

Japhet De Oliveira: Self-worth, and is it just like, it's just fracturing for people to... Because this is not uncommon what you're saying.

Francesca Moore: No, it's not. And I don't think it's limited to weight. I think with social media, everybody's lives being on display constantly.

Japhet De Oliveira: Perfection.

Francesca Moore: Perfectionism.

Japhet De Oliveira: Filters, yeah.

Francesca Moore: It's tough, especially for young people. Having three daughters myself and getting them up through teen years. Self-image is big. I could look at my daughter and she's a beautiful weight and size, but, "Oh, I have to lose weight." Or "Oh, I should dress this certain way." And so there's a lot of body shaming.

Japhet De Oliveira: Of, so what would you-

Francesca Moore: Or image shaming.

Japhet De Oliveira: There is. What would you say to someone... Because, there's a lot of people who feel this way. What kind of words or wisdom would you say now at 58, having looked on life, to help release people of that pressure?

Francesca Moore: Other things become more important. I think of myself. I was always in shape, always this, that and the other. It was very important how I look, maintain myself. As you get older, those things become less important, and it's leaning in more to the things that you personally enjoy or aspire to be. So as I've got hold of the, "standards," quote, unquote, and coming from the UK, we always had a lot of standards, always have a lot of standards. And your parents were the worst. They were the absolute worst. "Oh, you look like whatever." As you get older, you become more comfortable with yourself. And I would just say if people can lean into that just a little bit earlier in life, they're going to have a much better time with themselves.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, that's good. That's good. Hey, I love that advice. Good words. Last number. Where do you want to go? Since you did 100, you can do anyone.

Francesca Moore: Let's do 94.

Japhet De Oliveira: 94. If you could change one thing in the world, what would it be?

Francesca Moore: If I could change one thing in the world?

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, just one thing.

Francesca Moore: Well, maybe we can tack on to the other question. If I could change one thing in the world, people would be a lot more comfortable with themselves. Right?

Japhet De Oliveira: That would be-

Francesca Moore: Because think how amazing. I mean even doing podcasts and videos and working and presentations and around family, if you could do that-

Japhet De Oliveira: Confidence would be good.

Francesca Moore: Yeah, it'd be awesome.

Japhet De Oliveira: Because people are beautiful.

Francesca Moore: You enjoy life.

Japhet De Oliveira: People are beautiful.

Francesca Moore: It's beautiful. They are, they're amazing.

Japhet De Oliveira: And I wish they all saw it.

Francesca Moore: Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, that would be cool.

Francesca Moore: Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira: Hey, Francesca, it's been a delight to speak to you.

Francesca Moore: Absolutely.

Japhet De Oliveira: Thank you so much.

Francesca Moore: Thank you.

Japhet De Oliveira: We should have had a cup of tea.

Francesca Moore: We should have done. And I am very let down, Japhet. I'm very let down.

Japhet De Oliveira: I know. I know. I feel I really did break the golden rule here.

Francesca Moore: …tea biscuits.

Japhet De Oliveira: We should have. Hang on a second. Crunch, crunch, crunch, eat a sandwich. We should have done-

Francesca Moore: We should have done it.

Japhet De Oliveira: Another time.

Francesca Moore: All right.

Japhet De Oliveira: But thank you so much. I want to encourage people to do the same, sit with a friend, ask them questions, learn about them. We are transformed by it. So, God bless you and God bless everybody else who's listening and we'll connect again soon.

Francesca Moore: All right.

Japhet De Oliveira: Thank you.

Francesca Moore: Thank you.

Narrator: Thank you for joining us for The Story and Experience Podcast. We invite you to read, watch, and submit your story and experience at AdventistHealth.org/story. The Story and Experience Podcast was bought to you by Adventist Health through the Office of Culture.