Joyce Newmyer
Episode 2

Narrator:

Welcome, friends, to another episode of the Story and Experience Podcast. Join your host, Japhet De Oliveira, with his guest today, and discover the moments that shape us, our families, and communities.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Welcome to another episode of the Story and Experience Podcast. It's always wonderful, as I said, to be able to have a new guest join us. And for those of you who are brand new to this experience, I just want to explain to you that the way it works is that we have a hundred questions. The first 10 I ask, and then 11 to 100, the guest gets to choose which ones they actually want to go through. The first 10 are really easy. Eleven to 100 progressively become more difficult and more vulnerable, and so they'll get to choose that. I want you to meet this guest, and so I'm going to begin straight away and I'm going to just dive into there. For all our regular listeners, well, you know exactly how fantastic this experience is, and it's just... Sit back, enjoy, imagine you have your own cup of tea, I hope you do, and enjoy us as we have ours, as well, right now. So let's begin. Would you tell us your name and if there's any particular way that we should pronounce it, that maybe people have slaughtered in past?

Joyce Newmyer:

I don't think it's ever been slaughtered, but my name is Joyce Newmyer, and Newmyer is spelled N-E-W-M-Y-E-R, no E in between the M and the Y. That's usually where it goes wrong.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's where it usually goes wrong. That's true, that's true. I've seen attempts in the other way. That's great, fantastic, thanks Joyce for that. So we now know that then, so tell us, Joyce, what do you do at the moment for work?

Joyce Newmyer:

I'm the chief culture officer for Adventist Health. I love my job. This is my favorite job. It feels like everything I've done in my career has led up to this job, and I'm having the time of my life.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's super. And how long have you been in this current role?

Joyce Newmyer:

Since October of last year. So not yet a full year.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Well done. And I actually think it's superb that you are in this role, because you're leading it in a legacy moment of history. So it's super, that's great. When you begin your day, what's your first drink of the day? Is it water? Is it one of those green liquid smoothies? Is it coffee? Tea?

Joyce Newmyer:

So my first drink is water, my second drink is coffee, and my third drink is a protein shake for breakfast.

Japhet De Oliveira:

In that order.

Joyce Newmyer:

In that order.

Japhet De Oliveira:

And do you take water, tap water, cold water?

Joyce Newmyer:

Whatever's handy.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Warm water? Whatever's handy, OK, all right.

Joyce Newmyer:

My home is on a well, and so I drink well water and right out of the tap, and whatever's handy, whether it's cold or whatever.

Japhet De Oliveira:

All right. That's great. Where were you born?

Joyce Newmyer:

I was born in Springfield, Ohio.

Japhet De Oliveira:

And have you been back there?

Joyce Newmyer:

I have been back there. Not a lot, but I went back several years ago. In fact, it was about 20 years now. And that was a really interesting experience, because my parents were married there, and there were folks in the church there who still remembered when my parents had been married, and had the privilege of having my daughter... She was five years old at the time. And so she was wandering around the church, introducing herself to people. And I had told her it was time, she needed to come sit down. And she said, "There are people here who don't know me yet."

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's great, that's great. Oh, beautiful. That's a beautiful moment, as well. So now you're in your dream job, right? And your dream vacation right now. Is this what you imagined when you were a little child?

Joyce Newmyer:

Oh, absolutely not.

Japhet De Oliveira:

So what did you imagine you'd be when you grow up?

Joyce Newmyer:

Oh, I can still remember going to church and the little Sabbath School... Being born and raised Adventist, we called it Sabbath School instead of Sunday School. And there was a little song about being a missionary. Somebody or other, there was a... And they would have little costumes they would put on. And so I always wanted to be the nurse, and they would put the little nurse costume on me, and I called it a mercy-mercy nurse instead of... Because I couldn't say missionary. So I would sing this: "I am a mercy-mercy nurse." And it wasn't until I started working in healthcare years later that I understood that I was probably right all along, that nurses or people... I mean, everything that they do is an act of mercy with the people that they're working with. And so I didn't go into nursing and I, at one time, thought I would be a physical therapist, as well, ended up not doing that, kept coming back to business, but I always felt like I would work in healthcare.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Mm-hmm (affirmative), that's beautiful. That's beautiful. I love how, from childhood to now, the connection, as well, that's fantastic. If people were to describe you, would they describe you as an extrovert or introvert? And would you agree with that descriptor?

Joyce Newmyer:

This has actually been a theme in my life. I used to test out... Like in the Myers-Briggs things, I used to test out as an extrovert all the time, and the older I got, the more that changed. And I think what I am is an introvert, because I get my energy from alone time and reading, and quiet time, and space. That's where I get energy, but I love being around people. And so I behave as an extrovert so much, and love it, that I think people think I'm an extrovert.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's good, that's good. That's fantastic. Now, are you, this is about habits, right? Are you an early riser or are you a night owl?

Joyce Newmyer:

So I think this is a funny question for you in particular to be asking me because you know the answer to this question.

Japhet De Oliveira:

I do, but our listeners don't, so...

Joyce Newmyer:

So, I am not a morning person. I like morning, but I want it to be slow and quiet, and people can text me and email me all they want to, but they're going to get a better answer just a little bit later. There's a joke... On teams that I have worked with in the past, there's been a joke that she's... Well, be careful, she's not nice until nine. I hope that's not exactly true. My family tells me it's not true, but I'm not a morning person. I am a night owl.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Oh, well, you've done amazing with those very early morning meetings we've had. And so it's, it's been fantastic. So it's all good.

Joyce Newmyer:

Pushing my comfort zone, Japhet, pushing my comfort zone.

Japhet De Oliveira:

So this morning, what was the first thought you had this morning when you woke up?

Joyce Newmyer:

The very first thought? Because I flew in last night, my flight was delayed several different times, got in super late. So, I set the alarm for five hours after I went to sleep. And my first thought was, wow, this is awfully early. And I know, for Japhet, you'd get half a day done by the time I set my alarm. I set my alarm for 5:45 this morning, and you probably had half a day's work done by then. But yeah, that was my first thought: Wow, 5:45 came awfully early.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Oh, it did, too quick, too quick. All right. So then what about this for a leadership question? Are you a backseat driver?

Joyce Newmyer:

A backseat driver? I don't think so. It would be interesting for you to ask my husband that question. I don't think I'm a backseat driver. I have been known to occasionally look for a brake pedal in the shotgun seat. My foot's just in vain, searching for a brake pedal.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's a good feeling. It's a good feeling when you suddenly realize that it isn't there and that it's there. I'm with you, I'm with you. Well, that was just the quick intro, the intro stuff, which is really easy. So now we begin 11 to 100, and you get to pick a number, and remembering that 100 is the hardest question. So where do you want to begin, Joyce?

Joyce Newmyer:

Let's do 25.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Twenty-five, all right. Quarter. Here we go. Share the most beautiful thing you've ever seen.

Joyce Newmyer:

I think the most beautiful thing I've ever seen was the Cape of Good Hope, outside of Cape Town, South Africa, standing up on the top of that mountain. There's a funicular that will take you up there. I decided to walk, and halfway up, I thought, oh, I should have taken the funicular. But I did make it to the top, and standing there at one of the lookout points, looking down at the literally bottom edge of the African continent. I thought, this might be the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Absolutely stunning.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's epic. And then walk up there to get it? That's fantastic. Beautiful, beautiful. All right. Do you want to go lower than 25, or up?

Joyce Newmyer:

Let's keep going up. Let's do 37.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Thirty-seven. All right. What do you like most about your family?

Joyce Newmyer:

Oh, we don't have long enough to talk about that. I have such an amazing family. My husband and I have been married to... This is our 10th year. And having the privilege of being married to your very best buddy, it's just such a cool experience. Together we have four children. The reason I picked the first question, at 25, is that's how old Sydney is now. That's my daughter. And then I got three sons, bonus boys. And they are in ages ranging from 33 to 42, I guess at this point. And I am crazy about all of them. They're funny, they're incredibly loving, they... We just have so much fun. I love having adult kids, because they become truly your favorite friends. And so I... We have three of our parents living with us as well, so we have quite a menagerie in the house, but also the adult kids outside the house. It's just such a cool time of life.

Japhet De Oliveira:

I love that you picked that number. I was like, oh, that's great, because I know how much you value family and value community, as well, with that. That's great. Good, good. Where'd you want to go next?

Joyce Newmyer:

Let's go to 48.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Forty-eight. All right. Tell us about your best personality traits.

Joyce Newmyer:

Oh, I feel like you've... Maybe you should get my friends and family to vote on that one. I think the one that I value the most, and that I hope is helpful to everyone who knows me, is authenticity. I think a close second on that one, although not compromised in any way, would be integrity. Integrity and authenticity together are the very most important things to me. I want to be predictable in the sense that people can know what to expect from me, that they can expect that I'm always going to try to do the right thing, even if it's the uncomfortable thing. That what you see is what you get, that the authenticity can be relied upon. And the integrity means it's going to be the right thing, the best way I know how. It doesn't mean I don't make mistakes, but certainly those two qualities are really, really important to me.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Absolutely. I see that actually in the way that you work, and in your personal life, as well, so it's fantastic to see. So, that's beautiful. I agree. I concur, as well. That was great. Which do you want to go next, Joyce?

Joyce Newmyer:

So I need to leave time for the last one.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Oh, you do.

Joyce Newmyer:

And so you need to tell me how many more I can go.

Japhet De Oliveira:

I'll tell you when we have the last two, when you have time for the last two questions.

Joyce Newmyer:

OK, perfect.

Japhet De Oliveira:

So, keep them going.

Joyce Newmyer:

Let's do 65.

Japhet De Oliveira:

All right, 65. Share one word that you could use to describe your past. Then, could you unpack that one word?

Joyce Newmyer:

That's a hard question. I'll say circuitous. It hasn't been a straight line from my teenage years to now, it's been a circuitous pathway, and it's been circuitous spiritually, circuitous in some relationships, and maybe even some career directions that I didn't anticipate. And so it's not been a straight line. It wasn't anticipatable from beginning to end, and yet, I wouldn't trade my life for anybody's. They say that if we could see the end from the beginning that we wouldn't change anything, even though there's always been pain and loss. But at the end of the day, I wouldn't trade my life, my circumstance, my family, I wouldn't trade it for anything. So that circuitous pathway led to exactly where God wants me to be. And I am so confident of that, that I wouldn't change a thing.

Japhet De Oliveira:

I love that. I think that all of our experiences and stories are beautiful, even the difficult and painful ones. Because they teach us something, and we can teach the next generation, we can teach those who are close to us, as well, something out of it. And they may not feel beautiful at the time, but they will become. But yes, I'm with you on that. That's fantastic. Yeah, that's a good word. All right, where'd you want to go next?

Joyce Newmyer:

Let's say 68.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Sixty-eight. If you could learn one new professional skill, what would it be?

Joyce Newmyer:

Oh, do I have to pick just one?

Japhet De Oliveira:

Well, that would help.

Joyce Newmyer:

Oh man. OK. So you know me, I've been called a rule-breaker multiple times. There's a joke that I have with people, that's kind of not a joke, where I say I don't follow rules, I write them. And so I'm going to rewrite your rule. I'm going to give you three things I would love to do. If I had... In healthcare, it would have been some type of a clinical background to help inform my work now. If I could pick one of those, I wish I was a mercy-mercy nurse. I would love to have been a nurse. On a personal level, I want to be fluent in Spanish, and I want to learn to play the guitar. I'm a piano player and I play by ear, so I know what chords go with what chords and all that kind of stuff. But I don't know how to play the guitar. And I went and bought a really nice guitar and I still don't know how to play it, so there you go.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Okay. All right. You said three.

Joyce Newmyer:

Spanish language. I want to be fluent in...

Japhet De Oliveira:

Oh, Spanish, OK, all right.

Joyce Newmyer:

Yep. Mercy-mercy nurse, fluent in Spanish and play the guitar.

Japhet De Oliveira:

All right. That's fantastic. None of these questions rhyme because nobody knows where the questions are going to go. Unless, of course, you've listened to a lot of these podcasts and you memorize every single one of these. So it's just beautiful to see, and I liked that you reworked the question into what you need it to be. Thank you, Joyce.

Joyce Newmyer:

Remember, answer the question you want, not the one that you got.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's good, lesson number one. All right, where do you want to go next?

Joyce Newmyer:

Seventy-two.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Seventy-two. Tell us about what you want to do when you retire, and then why you are waiting?

Joyce Newmyer:

So I picked 65 because that's the, quote, classic retirement age, and then kept going because I don't really have a thought that that'll happen. Why would you retire from doing what you love?

Japhet De Oliveira:

Exactly.

Joyce Newmyer:

And I'm just young enough that I don't know whether I'll still be doing what I'm doing now when I retire, or whether I'll and be doing something different, but I'm old enough that I do now think of retirement now and then, and I'm having a hard time with the concept. Seriously, because I don't... I wake up with a to-do list that would choke a camel. And so there's absolutely no way that I can contemplate waking up and not having a to-do list that has to be accomplished by the end of the day. So I'll create something that I have to do in retirement, even if it's avocations stacked one on top of the other.

Joyce Newmyer:

I don't know, but I can see me doing some volunteering. I can see... I will definitely keep bees. I have been a beekeeper in the past, and I love the whole beekeeping deal. In fact, I'm probably going to get a couple hives this year, but I can see doing beekeeping in a bigger way. I paint, I can see getting a lot more reading done. I have stacks of books that I want to read and they aren't read, and I could see getting that done. But the concept of nothing to do, that's not going to happen to me.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's not going to happen. That's true, that's true. Activity, but creativity, more than anything. Yeah, that's good. All right. Where do you want to go next? We're doing fine for time.

Joyce Newmyer:

Let's do... Can I go backwards?

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah, absolutely.

Joyce Newmyer:

Forty-five.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Forty-five, all right, let's go down there. When people come to you for help, what are they usually asking for?

Joyce Newmyer:

So, oftentimes they're asking for advice, and the hardest thing is to not give it. So last year I went through the training process, the formal education, to become a certified executive coach. I'm not yet certified, going through that process, but did the education. And one thing that they drill into you is that great coaches, and I think great leaders are coaches, coaching as leadership, great coaches don't give advice. They ask really great questions and get you to do your own exploring, your... Find your own conclusions, your own pathway, your own story. They guide you through that process of finding it, and becoming that, and writing your story yourself, rather than giving advice. So, that's what I think... When people ask me for stuff, they're either asking for advice, and hoping I'll solve the problem kind of simply and easily for them. And the hardest thing in the world is to not give it, but instead ask really great questions.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah, Yup. Lead them to a space where they actually... And they'll find even maybe a better answer than we would give.

Joyce Newmyer:

Oh, clearly.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah, that's actually great. Love that. Good. Where do you want to go now?

Joyce Newmyer:

Fifty-five.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Fifty-five, all right. Share about something that actually frightens you.

Joyce Newmyer:

Oh, this one's easy. I am terrified of snakes. I had several encounters with rattlesnakes when I was in grade school. We lived in central California, up in the mountains, and running into rattlesnakes was fairly routine. Fortunately, we usually ran into them when we were in the vehicles, so it wasn't scary, but we knew that under every step... I mean, you could run into a rattlesnake at any point in time. I hate snakes.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's clear. I got it.

Joyce Newmyer:

Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira:

No gifts of snakes.

Joyce Newmyer:

No. And in fact, I will say this, even teasing me with a snake... I've had people take a snake and like... They're holding it behind the head and they put the head up close to my face. That isn't funny to me. No. That whole thing about how God said that he would put enmity between thee and the snake when he was talking to Eve? Yeah, that worked really well with me.

Japhet De Oliveira:

And you're all about crushing the head of the... Yeah, I'm with you. Okay. Good, all right. Where next?

Joyce Newmyer:

Thirty-six.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Thirty-six. All right, tell us about one thing you hope never changes.

Joyce Newmyer:

Like in the world at large?

Japhet De Oliveira:

It could be. It could be in your life, it could be at work, it could be... I mean, you get to write the questions.

Joyce Newmyer:

Right? Wow, you're trainable.

Japhet De Oliveira:

I know. I'm learning so quick. I wrote this, but it could be whatever you want it to be, really.

Joyce Newmyer:

One thing that I hope never changes is that people really matter. I mean all of them. I hope that loving people and wanting good things for people, caring about people. I hope that that never changes and that we always maintain, both at work and in our personal lives, a sense that every single human being is God's child. And for me to treat his children in any other way than with love, and respect, and kindness, it doesn't mean that every conversation's pleasant. Because clarity is kindness, and sometimes clarity requires difficult truth. At the same time, you can do that with great love, and I hope that loving people always stays first and foremost for... Certainly for me, but for all the people around me. People matter, love matters.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah, it does. It really does. All right, we have time for a couple of questions. The last two questions, I think. Where do you want to go?

Joyce Newmyer:

Ninety-five.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Okay.

Joyce Newmyer:

This is in honor of you, because the queen is 95 right now. So, this is in honor of the queen's age.

Japhet De Oliveira:

All right. Tell us about how you see your faith and life intersecting.

Joyce Newmyer:

I actually don't see an intersection. It's the same path. It's not even a parallel line. It's the same line. I was raised to know that God loves me, and He loves me not because of what I do, or what I can prove, or how good I can try to be, He loves me just because I'm His. And knowing that gives me courage to do anything and everything I do in life. And so there's no intersection. It's all the same stuff.

Japhet De Oliveira:

You've merged it.

Joyce Newmyer:

Oh, it's completely merged. My life is based on and driven by my faith that there is a goodness, that God is good and that He wants good things for us, and that there is a hope for a different day when everything will be good.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Joyce, that speaks to your integrity, speaks back to your integrity and who you are as a person, and what I see in the way that you work, both in the volunteer things that you do, and the way that you work as well. But yes, I think that's beautiful. I like the way that you kind of brought that altogether. Again, rewrote the question and the answer. Love it. No, it's good. It's beautiful, thank you. Last question.

Joyce Newmyer:

You know, it's got to be 100. You can't tell me that there are 100 questions and have me wonder what 100 is.

Japhet De Oliveira:

There are many people avoid question 100. I mean, they choose other ones and so, what... Sure, all right.

Joyce Newmyer:

That may be a meaningful path for them, but if I know there's a 100, I got to go there.

Japhet De Oliveira:

All right. So here's question 100. Tell us about one question that you just don't want to answer.

Joyce Newmyer:

Yeah, that's a really good question. No wonder you made it 100. I would never want to have to answer out loud. The question of, who are the people you have hurt in this life? And just because we, as human beings, are so capable, despite our best intentions, of hurting other people. And I know that there are times I have done that. And I choose not to look back on it as something to create shame, but to create greater love in the here and now. So if you know that you have hurt people in the past, for Heaven's sake, don't do that again. You might mess up in some other way, because we're human. So somebody else might get hurt, but let's at least not repeat the mistakes of the past. So I would hope I would never have to explain to someone all the ways, and the people that I have hurt in the past.

Joyce Newmyer:

And I hope forgiveness means that there's growth and learning in every way. And I'm not talking like, probably the most heinous of hurt, but I even remember times where I was unkind to a classmate in the sixth grade, and I remember why I was unkind. And it seems so senseless now. I haven't forgotten that. And those are the things that I look back on and think, how can I never be that again? So take what you can and learn from it without taking the shame, but hold people gently and lightly, and hold their feelings and their hearts, and their hopes and their dreams lightly, so that hopefully when someone says, "What were some of the most painful things..." If they're asked the 100 question, what were the painful things in your life, that they're not thinking of you. So try very hard to treat other people in the way that you would want to be treated, the way you'd want your mom to be treated, your kids to be treated, and again, with great love.

Japhet De Oliveira:

I was going to ask you now, what pearls of wisdom you'd want to share with everybody, but you kind of wrapped that up, actually, just inside that one there, as well. And you know, there's just so much depth in what you just shared there, Joyce, because I think that we should live in spaces where we don't live in that kind of regret space, but we learn from those moments as much as we can. And I appreciate you sharing that. I think that we all have that.

Joyce Newmyer:

I get asked by students a lot, what are the things that you regret? And I think they think I'm going to give them... I regret going into this major or I regret moving to this state or something. And I tell them, I don't live in that space because again, as I said earlier, I wouldn't trade my life for anyone's, and all of those decisions, all those circumstances, even the bad ones, led me to this life. And I think that's what... The Paul in the Bible, when Paul was writing in Romans 8:28 about... We know that, we don't have to guess, we know that all things work together for good to them who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose.

Joyce Newmyer:

I think he meant all of the things will work together for good, your good decisions, your bad decisions, your stupidity, the things that if you had it to do over again, you'd probably do differently. God's going to take all of that and mix it all up into a soup where He makes all things work together for good, and then you don't have to wish that you had someone else's life. I think that's the promise, and that's the space I live in.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Well, Joyce, I want to thank you for your time. I want to thank you for all your honesty and the integrity. For all our listeners, I don't know if you know this, but Joyce also is my boss. And so this is actually... It's fantastic. It's fantastic to be able to be in a space where you can have a boss who you can speak to so freely and so authentically with, and lives what they speak about. And so I appreciate you Joyce, and appreciate your leadership in this company, what you're doing for us, what you're... A legacy moment, a legacy moment, indeed. And so thank you for sharing. All stories and experiences shape you, shape us as well. And I want to encourage all the people who are listening to continue sharing your stories as well, because they shape other people's lives. God bless everybody. Look after you as well, Joyce, and thank you again for being part of this.

Joyce Newmyer:

Thank you, Japhet.

Narrator:

Thank you for joining us for the Story and Experience Podcast. We invite you to read, watch and submit your story and experience at adventisthealth.org/story. The Story and Experience Podcast was brought to you by Adventist Health for the Office of Culture