Mark Dwyer
Episode 151

Narrator: Welcome friends to another episode of The Story & Experience Podcast. Join your host, Japhet De Oliveira with his guest today and discover the moments that shape us, our families, and communities.

Japhet De Oliveira: Hey, welcome friends to another episode of The Story & Experience Podcast. I am delighted to be seated here in Roseville with our guests right across the table from me, which is great. It's always nice to do these in person. And to share some of their stories and experiences that shaped them into the leader that they are today. We have 100 questions. They progressively become more complex and more vulnerable close to 100. The guest gets to choose where they're going to go. I'll ask the first 10 and then we'll dive in. Sounds like a good plan. They nodded affirming, so I feel like this is going well. All right.

Mark Dwyer: Affirming nod.

Japhet De Oliveira: Affirming nod. Heard. Describe.

Mark Dwyer: I do say heard. You've heard me say this.

Japhet De Oliveira: I know. I know. Noted and heard. Let's start with your name. Could you tell us your name and does anybody ever mispronounce it, sir?

Mark Dwyer: You know, not usually.

Japhet De Oliveira: Hmm.

Mark Dwyer: Surprisingly. My first name is easy. My name is Mark Dwyer.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: The Dwyer gets people sometimes.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yes. Yes, I can...

Mark Dwyer: But not often, to be honest with you.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah?

Mark Dwyer: Every now and again.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's good.

Mark Dwyer: I'll get Dweer.

Japhet De Oliveira: Dweer?

Mark Dwyer: Or Dywer or Dryer?

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh. Dryer?

Mark Dwyer: Dryer.

Japhet De Oliveira: Wow.

Mark Dwyer: You just throw an R in there.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay.

Mark Dwyer: I don't know how that happens.

Japhet De Oliveira: They were excited that day.

Mark Dwyer: I honestly, I expect more people to stumble on it.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: It's weird. Like, it's a little strange.

Japhet De Oliveira: It's good though. Mark, I was going to call you Dwyer, which is-

Mark Dwyer: We'll stick with Dwyer.

Japhet De Oliveira: We'll stick with Mark. Mark, could you tell us, tell me, what do you do for work?

Mark Dwyer: So, I am Adventist Health's communication manager for all things Epic. So on our Epic transition, our journey to a new EHR, excuse me, I'm supervising all of our communication around that exciting journey.

Japhet De Oliveira: I thought when you said Epic, it was just like something grand.

Mark Dwyer: Epic.

Japhet De Oliveira: Shakespeare, but no, it's an EHR. Okay. So what is an EHR and what is Epic? And tell us that. You must know this now and that's great.

Mark Dwyer: Yes. And very excitingly. So, Adventist Health is transitioning over to a new electronic healthcare record manager.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay.

Mark Dwyer: We've used Cerner for many years, but the idea now is that we're transitioning over to an Epic foundation system.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay.

Mark Dwyer: So that'll allow for standardization across our clinics and points of care, and streamline and create all kinds of improvements and good things for our hospital system.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's good. That's good. Hey, I like that. I like that. So this is what I as a patient would actually log in to see?

Mark Dwyer: Yeah. Excuse me.

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh, yeah.

Mark Dwyer: You'll be able to see everything through MyChart. So there's one singular point where you'll be able to manage all of your appointments, all of your medications, all of your communications from your physician.

Japhet De Oliveira: Great.

Mark Dwyer: So great for the patient, great for our clinicians.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: Great for the whole system.

Japhet De Oliveira: All right, fantastic. Good. And you're in charge of communication for that?

Mark Dwyer: Yes, indeed.

Japhet De Oliveira: Whoa, okay. All right. Good stuff, man. I'm excited for you. So how long have you been in this role?

Mark Dwyer: Not long. I've only been here a month now.

Japhet De Oliveira: A month, okay. All right.

Mark Dwyer: Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira: It's time. All right.

Mark Dwyer: We're on week four.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay.

Mark Dwyer: Very exciting.

Japhet De Oliveira: Isn't the cutoff date? Oh no, it's too late. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. So Mark, what did you do before?

Mark Dwyer: So before I worked for a provider of care for seniors and veterans. I was the community relations coordinator for a senior caregiving group.

Japhet De Oliveira: Wow, okay.

Mark Dwyer: So a lot of that was finding and talking with people that were setting up caregivers for their family members and relatives, and getting that care established for them.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. But you've been in communication your entire career, right?

Mark Dwyer: I have, yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, yeah.

Mark Dwyer: In various capacity.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: So I've worked with various magazines before, doing layout and graphic design projects, but also writing and also producing content for communication.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, that's good. And now you're dabbling in film I hear, as well?

Mark Dwyer: Yes.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay. Right. That's good.

Mark Dwyer: With Mark's help.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, that's good.

Mark Dwyer: There's enough of our talented team.

Japhet De Oliveira: There's another Mark. All right, this is good.

Mark Dwyer: Hey, the Marks are on it.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yes, they are. Are you an early riser or a late night owl?

Mark Dwyer: I'm a late night person.

Japhet De Oliveira: Mm-hmm. What's late night for you?

Mark Dwyer: So late night is midnight.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay, all right.

Mark Dwyer: Just about every day usually.

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh, really? That's [inaudible 00:04:14].

Mark Dwyer: Yeah. You see me bleary-eyed in the morning here. That's why.

Japhet De Oliveira: Fair enough. Fair enough.

Mark Dwyer: Oh, I've tried.

Japhet De Oliveira: You've tried?

Mark Dwyer: I've tried to be an early riser. And just-

Japhet De Oliveira: And just not your jam.

Mark Dwyer: No, does not stick.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's okay. That's okay. So this morning when you woke up, first thought that went through your mind?

Mark Dwyer: The first thought.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. Today.

Mark Dwyer: I wish I could say something like, "I'm grateful today for..."

Japhet De Oliveira: Nice.

Mark Dwyer: But it's probably more like, "Where is coffee?"

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay.

Mark Dwyer: Coffee. Coffee is usually the first thought.

Japhet De Oliveira: Aha. All right.

Mark Dwyer: Coffee is usually the first thing to cross the brain.

Japhet De Oliveira: And what kind of coffee do you have?

Mark Dwyer: I have nice coffee.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay.

Mark Dwyer: Had some very nice coffee. I have some nice single origin Kenyan-

Japhet De Oliveira: All right.

Mark Dwyer: ... right now. It's very nice. It's good coffee.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's great. And do you have it black, or?

Mark Dwyer: Black. Black, always.

Japhet De Oliveira: All right.

Mark Dwyer: Always black.

Japhet De Oliveira: Look at that. That's fantastic, man. Pleased for you. Now where were you born?

Mark Dwyer: Right here, Sacramento.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay.

Mark Dwyer: So I'm born and raised in northern California area.

Japhet De Oliveira: Did you grow up here?

Mark Dwyer: Where we're speaking now.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: And yeah, I did.

Japhet De Oliveira: Huh. And when you were a child, what did you imagine you would grow up to be?

Mark Dwyer: I wanted to be an artist.

Japhet De Oliveira: Really?

Mark Dwyer: Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira: Do you still love art?

Mark Dwyer: Yes.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah? Do you-

Mark Dwyer: I still want to be an artist.

Japhet De Oliveira: Really? Are you a painter, or are you a-

Mark Dwyer: Not a good one.

Japhet De Oliveira: No?

Mark Dwyer: But I do paint.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah?

Mark Dwyer: Not very well. I taught art for a long time. I taught art to kids for many years and that was wonderful. That was one of the most rewarding things I've ever done.

Japhet De Oliveira: That sounds stressful.

Mark Dwyer: It could get a little chaotic.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, yeah.

Mark Dwyer: But you have to embrace that chaos.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay.

Mark Dwyer: That's part of it. And maybe in an art project that's easy to see, but embracing the chaos, it's part of the joy.

Japhet De Oliveira: Mm-hmm. So do you find an outlet for art in your work as well, or?

Mark Dwyer: I try and be creative.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: I mean, in writing, you're being creative when you're producing content. So I feel like there's a natural outlet for creativity there. But I find that I need it. I find that in my daily life I need some kind of creative thing to do, whether that's working in a sketchbook or working on a painting, there's always something going. So I always have something on the back burner.

Japhet De Oliveira: Hey, that's good. That's good. Now, if people were to describe your personality, introvert or extrovert, and would you agree?

Mark Dwyer: Before I have said that I'm a reluctant extrovert.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay.

Mark Dwyer: So I think life has pulled me to be an extrovert in many ways against my own will. Many times.

Japhet De Oliveira: But not against your judgment?

Mark Dwyer: No.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay. I'm just... Okay.

Mark Dwyer: No. See, and that's the thing, I feel like the strength is with extroversion, so I've tried to move myself in that direction.

Japhet De Oliveira: Ah. Interesting.

Mark Dwyer: Over the course of my life.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's a stretch. It's good. I like it. A leadership question for you.

Mark Dwyer: Yes?

Japhet De Oliveira: Are you a backseat driver?

Mark Dwyer: I'm not.

Japhet De Oliveira: No? Okay.

Mark Dwyer: And this has led to problems before. Because I tend to assume that whoever's driving just knows the way.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay.

Mark Dwyer: Even if I'm giving directions, even if I'm the person who's supposed to be navigating, I'm like, "Well, they know." And so we've gone past exits before.

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh, okay.

Mark Dwyer: We've gone to whole other towns before. So maybe I need to be more-

Japhet De Oliveira: More.

Mark Dwyer: ... of a backseat driver.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay. Okay. All right.

Mark Dwyer: Than I am now.

Japhet De Oliveira: I've not heard that a lot, but that's good. All right.

Mark Dwyer: I'm very easygoing.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: I think is what you get from me there.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's great. Well, glad to hear that. Now we're going to open it up and really the floor is yours.

Mark Dwyer: Oh, man.

Japhet De Oliveira: Where would you like to go? Between 11 and 100?

Mark Dwyer: Oh, man. I thought I would get an under 10 in here, but I guess you've asked the under 10s.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. Yeah, I did.

Mark Dwyer: So I have to be brave.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yes. Step up and-

Mark Dwyer: Go into the teens.

Japhet De Oliveira: Doubles.

Mark Dwyer: Yeah. 15.

Japhet De Oliveira: 15, all right. What's the one thing you always misplace?

Mark Dwyer: Oh, what do I always lose? Okay, so it's the phone.

Japhet De Oliveira: Really?

Mark Dwyer: It's the phone. And the reason is the phone is black.

Japhet De Oliveira: Uh-huh.

Mark Dwyer: So it disappears.

Japhet De Oliveira: Sure.

Mark Dwyer: If you have a lot of say, black clothes around your house-

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay, all right.

Mark Dwyer: Or a lot of black surfaces, which I actually tend to do.

Japhet De Oliveira: Just to our listeners, he's wearing dark blue right now.

Mark Dwyer: I am, yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira: And gray pants, so it's not really black, but fair enough. Yeah, sure.

Mark Dwyer: It's a rare day.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, I'm listening.

Mark Dwyer: So it disappears. It vanishes.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: Into all the shadows and the dark places in the house. And it slides too, is the other thing.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's true.

Mark Dwyer: You know what I mean?

Japhet De Oliveira: That's a very good point.

Mark Dwyer: So you put it on one place and it slides like a hockey puck.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. I'm trying to understand that, but that's okay.

Mark Dwyer: The hockey puck?

Japhet De Oliveira: Do you have any way of... No, do you have any way to find your phone?

Mark Dwyer: No, I can prove you the hockey puck thing.

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh, yeah?

Mark Dwyer: See we have-

Japhet De Oliveira: Maneuvering the phone on... Yeah, it's…

Mark Dwyer: And it's sliding very easily.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: When I worked in the behavior clinic, we actually would use my phone as an air hockey puck and we'd go-

Japhet De Oliveira: Really?

Mark Dwyer: Like that.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay.

Mark Dwyer: Slide it back and forth across-

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay, Mark. Well, you know-

Mark Dwyer: That's also why it's damaged.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, it's why it's damaged. Okay.

Mark Dwyer: It's a fun game.

Japhet De Oliveira: It is a fun game. Poor phone. All right, so that's good. What's next after that number 15.

Mark Dwyer: Oh, man.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: We could do this as a progressive. Braver and braver.

Japhet De Oliveira: Sure.

Mark Dwyer: We could really make a jump here.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, we could.

Mark Dwyer: Let's do 23.

Japhet De Oliveira: 23. All right. Leaping forward, tell us about the most outdated piece of technology that you still use.

Mark Dwyer: Oh, that I still use?

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. On a regular basis. And why you can't let go of this outdated piece of technology?

Mark Dwyer: What do I use that's outdated? Is a single razor, is that an outdated kind of thing?

Japhet De Oliveira: It depends. If it's a cutthroat it may not be.

Mark Dwyer: I have the single blade razor.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, yeah.

Mark Dwyer: You know those? I don't know if that's out of date so much.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. Well, it's not the fad, I guess, with the five-blade versions.

Mark Dwyer: I can give you a good one with my father who uses a pager still.

Japhet De Oliveira: Really?

Mark Dwyer: Really.

Japhet De Oliveira: Pagers still exist?

Mark Dwyer: And truly, yes.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay. Okay. Does he have a Blackberry as well?

Mark Dwyer: He never even got that far.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay. All right.

Mark Dwyer: The other day-

Japhet De Oliveira: A pager?

Mark Dwyer: ... it broke. Maybe a week or two ago.

Japhet De Oliveira: Uh-huh.

Mark Dwyer: Broke a while back. I don't even know who's paging my father at this point, but he said to me, where do I get a new pager?

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah?

Mark Dwyer: And I said, "Do you have a time machine? I don't know where we're going to find this."

Japhet De Oliveira: The other pager people would know.

Mark Dwyer: That's true. He'll wait for the page.

Japhet De Oliveira: They'll wait for the page. But he can't-

Mark Dwyer: "Call you back with the location."

Japhet De Oliveira: He can't communicate with them now. Wow. What a tragedy. All right, pager it is. All right. Where next then? And on that note, yeah. What number?

Mark Dwyer: Oh, I have to-

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's what happens next.

Mark Dwyer: I have a role to play here.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: Let's do 36.

Japhet De Oliveira: 36. All right. Oh.

Mark Dwyer: Being brave.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, this is good. Tell us about one thing you hope never changes?

Mark Dwyer: That I hope never changes?

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: It would be cheesy for me to say, but it's true, our wonderful team here at Adventist Health.

Japhet De Oliveira: Mm-hmm.

Mark Dwyer: Everyone has been incredibly welcoming.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: I mean, I'm fairly new to the team, but so far joining with Adventist Health, everyone has been so incredibly welcoming. And that is something that I hope never changes.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: And I hope that's something that I can offer-

Japhet De Oliveira: Good people.

Mark Dwyer: Yeah, exactly. The others too, joining.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's true. Good. Hey, love that. All right, where next? I'll send you the check as well.

Mark Dwyer: Let's keep ratcheting it up here.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, sure.

Mark Dwyer: Let's go to 41.

Japhet De Oliveira: 41. Oh, what are you excited about in life right now?

Mark Dwyer: In life right now?

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: My anniversary is coming up.

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh?

Mark Dwyer: So that's exciting.

Japhet De Oliveira: How many years?

Mark Dwyer: Five years.

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh, that's fantastic.

Mark Dwyer: I like to tell people we got married just in time.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, just in time.

Mark Dwyer: Right before the pandemic.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's right. Wow.

Mark Dwyer: It was like we got married and then the pandemic happened. Yeah, exactly. Right after.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, yeah.

Mark Dwyer: So we had all these plans, we're going to go places and do all these things.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: And then you're...

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh, wow. Yeah. That was a change.

Mark Dwyer: Honestly, I think-

Japhet De Oliveira: Congratulations though.

Mark Dwyer: Thank you.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: I think it was a good marriage thing because it really forced us very close together. For a long time. Very quickly.

Japhet De Oliveira: So, wait, what are you planning for the anniversary? Can you share?

Mark Dwyer: Yeah, we're heading out of town. We're going up to Mendocino.

Japhet De Oliveira: Nice.

Mark Dwyer: So spent some time in the woods.

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh, that's great. Great.

Mark Dwyer: I'm hoping to go fishing.

Japhet De Oliveira: Really?

Mark Dwyer: On this expedition.

Japhet De Oliveira: Have you ever fished before?

Mark Dwyer: Oh, plenty.

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh, okay.

Mark Dwyer: All the time.

Japhet De Oliveira: Just checking whether it's the first time, or...

Mark Dwyer: I feel bad leaving my partner on our anniversary.

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh, so what happens when you go fishing?

Mark Dwyer: Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh, okay.

Mark Dwyer: So it may not be the best plan.

Japhet De Oliveira: Hey, have a great anniversary. Let me know how that goes for you.

Mark Dwyer: I'll catch plenty of fish.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. Good luck. All right, so where next after that?

Mark Dwyer: I like feeling brave.

Japhet De Oliveira: Uh-huh. Good.

Mark Dwyer: 55.

Japhet De Oliveira: 55. Oh, share about something that frightens you?

Mark Dwyer: Speaking of brave.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. Just speaking of brave, yeah.

Mark Dwyer: You know, many things frighten me.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah?

Mark Dwyer: This is a thinker right here.

Japhet De Oliveira: Hmm.

Mark Dwyer: I can be unique and say that sugar frightens me a lot of the time.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay. All right.

Mark Dwyer: I'm diabetic.

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh, well-

Mark Dwyer: I'll share that.

Japhet De Oliveira: All right, fair enough.

Mark Dwyer: With the podcast audience.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, the world knows now. Yeah, you're welcome.

Mark Dwyer: So my fear is like the blood sugar spike. Is my fear is the irregularity in the graph.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. Yeah. That's real. That's real.

Mark Dwyer: I could do a better job of avoiding my fears.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: But...

Japhet De Oliveira: But you sense sugar everywhere.

Mark Dwyer: Everywhere.

Japhet De Oliveira: Everywhere.

Mark Dwyer: The temptation is all... You know candy in this office…

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. I have no idea what you're talking about.

Mark Dwyer: Strike that from the record.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yes. Removed. No candy anywhere. All right. Hey, that's fair enough. I'm glad you're wise about it. That's good.

Mark Dwyer: I try and be wise about it.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. All right, that was 55.

Mark Dwyer: 55.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: We could go to 62.

Japhet De Oliveira: All right. Oh, this is great for you. What does a sense of community mean to you?

Mark Dwyer: Hmm.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: I think my mother used to say, "Community through conversation." And that's something-

Japhet De Oliveira: That's great.

Mark Dwyer: ... that I like to think about. Community is whoever you can have a conversation with. Community is who you can have a talk with back and forth and share ideas.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: So anywhere where you can have a conversation, you have a little community right there.

Japhet De Oliveira: Hmm. Oh, that's clever.

Mark Dwyer: So the more you can foster that, you can have community everywhere in your life.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's really good. And you've adopted that from your mom?

Mark Dwyer: I think.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, yeah. I'm just checking.

Mark Dwyer: I'll give my mom credit for that one.

Japhet De Oliveira: No, that's great. That's great. All right, where next after 62?

Mark Dwyer: We could just keep going up here.

Japhet De Oliveira: Sure.

Mark Dwyer: 75.

Japhet De Oliveira: 75. All right. Oh, do you remember the very first thing that you bought with your own money? Right?

Mark Dwyer: Oh, no.

Japhet De Oliveira: And if so, what was it and why did you buy it? Oh no?

Mark Dwyer: I was hoping not to get this one.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay.

Mark Dwyer: I know it was a CD.

Japhet De Oliveira: Uh-huh.

Mark Dwyer: I don't know what it was though.

Japhet De Oliveira: Sorry, what is a CD?

Mark Dwyer: Yeah, exactly. For your younger listeners.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: So it was a compact disk I bought at a physical store that had music on it.

Japhet De Oliveira: Wow. Okay.

Mark Dwyer: This is kind of revealing how old I am.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, yeah.

Mark Dwyer: In a way or two. I don't remember what it was. It would be good if I could tell you the group. It'll be embarrassing. Whatever it is.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay.

Mark Dwyer: Whatever I was listening to.

Japhet De Oliveira: Is your music preferences, are they embarrassing?

Mark Dwyer: Most people's are if they're honest.

Japhet De Oliveira: They are really? Wow.

Mark Dwyer: Well, I think if you really get down to what you really, really like.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay.

Mark Dwyer: That usually gets pretty embarrassing fast.

Japhet De Oliveira: All right. You got to tell us. I mean, we've got to know now. Like, you know.

Mark Dwyer: I want to say it was a Radiohead CD.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah?

Mark Dwyer: I think that's what it was.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. That's awful.

Mark Dwyer: Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira: No, I'm kidding.

Mark Dwyer: The thing is, I'm sure it was probably something way more embarrassing than that.

Japhet De Oliveira: There is going to be another listener in the world who likes Radiohead as well.

Mark Dwyer: I think there'll be a few.

Japhet De Oliveira: There'll be a few.

Mark Dwyer: There'll be a few.

Japhet De Oliveira: There may be two or three. You'll be fine.

Mark Dwyer: Let's just say that's my safe answer.

Japhet De Oliveira: Right.

Mark Dwyer: Who knows?

Japhet De Oliveira: Well, CDs good. All right. That's great. What next?

Mark Dwyer: I'm feeling courageous.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah?

Mark Dwyer: 84.

Japhet De Oliveira: 84. All right. Oh, where do you go to find peace?

Mark Dwyer: Ah.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: And this one, this one I can answer.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: I go to the river.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah?

Mark Dwyer: So I live by the river in Sacramento.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay.

Mark Dwyer: And that's probably the reason that has kept me in the place that I've been living for so... I've lived in my current apartment for about 10 years.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah?

Mark Dwyer: And I don't think I would've stayed in such a falling down building for as long as I have if I didn't have proximity to the river.

Japhet De Oliveira: Wow.

Mark Dwyer: So I can walk down there. It's less than a mile.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: It's perfect. It's Peaceful, I can fish.

Japhet De Oliveira: Hmm. Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: Around again.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay.

Mark Dwyer: But, yeah. That's-

Japhet De Oliveira: So you like that kind of quiet time? The sound of the water or the smell of it?

Mark Dwyer: All of it.

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh, okay.

Mark Dwyer: All of it. And it used to be a daily thing with me. I used to go every day. I would start my day with a little walk to the river and walk back.

Japhet De Oliveira: Wow. That's nice. That's really nice. Thank you for sharing that.

Mark Dwyer: Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira: All right, where next? That was 84.

Mark Dwyer: That was 84. 88.

Japhet De Oliveira: 88. All right. Oh, tell us about how your life has been different than what you imagined it would be? Aha. Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: My life has been a little bit different than I imagined.

Japhet De Oliveira: Uh-huh.

Mark Dwyer: I mean, I'm not the most famous artist in the world yet.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yet. Okay. All right. I love the optimism. It's great. This is very positive.

Mark Dwyer: Still young.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, yeah. He's still young. Great. Could be.

Mark Dwyer: Matisse didn't start painting until he was in his late thirties.

Japhet De Oliveira: Well, there is hope.

Mark Dwyer: See?

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: There's hope for us all.

Japhet De Oliveira: For all of us.

Mark Dwyer: I hang onto every story like that if I can. I don't want to hear about a talented wunderkind anymore.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: Who's... Give me someone who started late and still made it.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. That's true.

Mark Dwyer: That's what I want to hear about.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's good.

Mark Dwyer: No, I didn't think that I'd be in Sacramento.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah?

Mark Dwyer: I didn't necessarily think I'd work for Adventist Health either to be candid.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: Life has given me a number of remarkable opportunities in spite of myself a lot of the time. And as I get older, I can take more and better advantage of those gifts that life gives you.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: That for so many years, I did not accept.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. Hey. Or recognize, right?

Mark Dwyer: Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira: Doesn't that happen? It's easy, right?

Mark Dwyer: Yeah. Where you don't know it's a gift until later.

Japhet De Oliveira: Until later on in your life and you look back.

Mark Dwyer: I think that's true.

Japhet De Oliveira: What would you say is your most surprising gift in your life? That was a bonus question.

Mark Dwyer: Bonus.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: Surprising gift?

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: I would say my wife.

Japhet De Oliveira: Hmm.

Mark Dwyer: The relationship I have with my wife is remarkable, and has enriched my life, and is something that I'm very blessed by. And I feel like I can recognize that's a gift. That's not something that I had any hand in making hardly.

Japhet De Oliveira: How did you meet? Ah. We got to ask.

Mark Dwyer: It's a boring story for me. We met with friends of friends.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah?

Mark Dwyer: I will share, the exciting thing in our getting together is that we were together in college. We broke up for a while, we got back together. And when we got back together we said, "We'll take it slow. We'll see how things go." And then within a week of that, we ran away to Paris.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay.

Mark Dwyer: So we were both on a flight to Paris a week later.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, fair enough. Slow.

Mark Dwyer: Taking it slow.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. And now you're celebrating five years.

Mark Dwyer: Exactly. So.

Japhet De Oliveira: Hmm. Hey, well it's good stuff to hear. It's encouraging. All right, where next?

Mark Dwyer: Let's continue being brave.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: 94.

Japhet De Oliveira: 94. All right, here we go.

Mark Dwyer: We're really getting up there.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, I know.

Mark Dwyer: I'm going to have to decelerate at some point.

Japhet De Oliveira: If you could change only one thing in the world, what would it be?

Mark Dwyer: And this could be anything?

Japhet De Oliveira: Anything. Anything.

Mark Dwyer: Anything in the world?

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: That I could change?

Japhet De Oliveira: You have the power to change one thing in the world. What would it be?

Mark Dwyer: Oh. I mean, it's a boring answer. The thing that jumps out to me is global warming right away.

Japhet De Oliveira: Mm-hmm.

Mark Dwyer: Would I fix the carbon in the atmosphere? Would that be the first thing that I would look at?

Japhet De Oliveira: So the world could continue?

Mark Dwyer: Yeah. Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, yeah.

Mark Dwyer: I would save the world.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay, all right.

Mark Dwyer: That's what I would do. Prevent the end of the world.

Japhet De Oliveira: All right. I like it. I like it. That's good. I'm glad you cared. All right. All right. That was 94. So, where next?

Mark Dwyer: Oh, man. I think, let's take a break.

Japhet De Oliveira: All right.

Mark Dwyer: Let's go back down.

Japhet De Oliveira: Sure.

Mark Dwyer: Let's go back down to 33.

Japhet De Oliveira: 33. All right, here we go. Oh, tell us about the best gift you've ever given someone else?

Mark Dwyer: The best gift I've ever given someone else?

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: Have I given people things? I had a car that I was not driving as much anymore that I ended up giving to my little cousin. And I feel like that was a pretty good gift.

Japhet De Oliveira: Hmm. Was your cousin surprised?

Mark Dwyer: She was, actually.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah?

Mark Dwyer: Yeah. I think she really was. I didn't think she would do it.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah?

Mark Dwyer: That was a decent car, too.

Japhet De Oliveira: Hey, that's good. That's good. That's good. Well, it's a gift that helps them become a different person.

Mark Dwyer: I'm trying to think of all the intangible gifts I've given over the years. I've given inspiration. I've given...

Japhet De Oliveira: Hey, that's good as well. I like that. I like that. No, it's good. It's true though, right? We do.

Mark Dwyer: As far as tangibles though.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: Car.

Japhet De Oliveira: Car.

Mark Dwyer: Definitely Car.

Japhet De Oliveira: All right. Car it is. All right. That was 33. Where next?

Mark Dwyer: All right, let's go back up.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: Let's do 72.

Japhet De Oliveira: 72. All right. Tell us about what you want to do when you retire?

Mark Dwyer: Oh, man.

Japhet De Oliveira: And then I want to know why you're waiting? Oh.

Mark Dwyer: I have plans for my retirement.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay. All right.

Mark Dwyer: I'm going to fish.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. Wow. Okay.

Mark Dwyer: I'm going to paint, there'll be a lot of painting.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: I'm going to grow my hair out big and crazy.

Japhet De Oliveira: Really?

Mark Dwyer: What I'm really looking forward to in my elder years is the crazy white mess of hair.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah?

Mark Dwyer: Like…

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah…

Mark Dwyer: Yeah. Einstein, Beethoven.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: I'm looking forward to having composer hair. To have this great mop of unruly, mad scientist hair.

Japhet De Oliveira: Not really Radiohead hair?

Mark Dwyer: No.

Japhet De Oliveira: No. Okay.

Mark Dwyer: Well, well.

Japhet De Oliveira: Well, maybe. Who knows? Huh? So why are you waiting? Yeah. At least for the hair?

Mark Dwyer: The thing is, I do a lot of this already.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: I mean, so... That's a good point. What I'm looking forward to, I think, mostly is being really eccentric.

Japhet De Oliveira: Hmm.

Mark Dwyer: That's what I'm planning for is eccentricity. Right now I'm just weird.

Japhet De Oliveira: Are you going to get pocket watch or?

Mark Dwyer: Yeah, you need some weird accessories.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, yeah.

Mark Dwyer: Get a strange pet.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: This all sounds good.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, this sounds good. I look forward to seeing this happen. We have a long time yet, but we'll look forward to it.

Mark Dwyer: My neighbor is my inspiration for this.

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh, really?

Mark Dwyer: I have a neighbor in Midtown Sacramento who's just fully leaning in to being weird and not having any responsibilities in his retirement.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay. All right.

Mark Dwyer: I love it.

Japhet De Oliveira: Great.

Mark Dwyer: He looks so happy.

Japhet De Oliveira: Happiness is good. All right, where next?

Mark Dwyer: Let's keep going up.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay.

Mark Dwyer: Let's say 89?

Japhet De Oliveira: 89. Oh. What's the most impactful 'no' that you've said recently?

Mark Dwyer: The most impactful 'no?'

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: It's interesting. In a previous life, I worked as a behavioral therapist for kids. And one of the things we always said in the clinic was, "Give an informational no." And the informational no is not like a no that's loaded, that has any emotion behind it. Because you say like, "No, we can't do that."

Japhet De Oliveira: Right.

Mark Dwyer: That has some emotion behind it. But if you say, "No, we're not doing that." That's maybe not the best neutral voice, but you get the idea.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: The idea is you just convey the information without any impact in it.

Japhet De Oliveira: Right, yeah.

Mark Dwyer: So I've tried to make my 'no’s,' when I give them now, I try and make them without impact. I try and make them an informational, 'no.'

Japhet De Oliveira: That's really good.

Mark Dwyer: That doesn't carry this undercurrent with the communication.

Japhet De Oliveira: Have you found that it worked?

Mark Dwyer: I do.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah?

Mark Dwyer: When I'm able to do it, I find that it works. And there were times with working with kids that was very difficult. Doesn't mean... With kids are running around screaming, yelling, doing all these things. It's easy to get caught up and it's easy to get emotional. But if you can give an informational no, I feel like that's really helpful for a lot of people. It definitely was for kids.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's really good. Thank you for sharing that.

Mark Dwyer: You're very welcome.

Japhet De Oliveira: We have time for two more.

Mark Dwyer: Two more?

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: All right, let's jump in the nineties.

Japhet De Oliveira: All right.

Mark Dwyer: It's serious time now.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay. All right.

Mark Dwyer: What was that... Did I say 94?

Japhet De Oliveira: You did. 95.

Mark Dwyer: 95. Oh, how do you see your faith and life intersecting?

Very good question. And I would say for so long in my life, intersecting was the last thing I saw those things doing.

Japhet De Oliveira: Hmm.

Mark Dwyer: If anything, my life was diverging. It was keeping faith far from my life and never those two shall meet.

Japhet De Oliveira: Hmm.

Mark Dwyer: But the older I get...

Japhet De Oliveira: Yes?

Mark Dwyer: ... the more you find you need faith. And you have faith.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: Even when you think you don't have faith, you have faith. And maybe not always the grand kind of spiritual faith that people are talking about in religious settings and context, but it's there. And it is something that you have. And finding that, albeit later in life, has been very rewarding for me. Finding that there are things to be grateful for has been transformative for my life. So how do I see those intersecting? I'd like to see them intersect more.

Japhet De Oliveira: Hmm.

Mark Dwyer: As opposed to being perpendicular.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. Yeah. No, I'm with you. I'm with you. That's great. That's right. What do you think is the biggest barrier that stops faith and life intersecting?

Mark Dwyer: Fear.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: I think most people are afraid. I think a lot of the time people are afraid. No one wants to ever admit you're afraid.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's true.

Mark Dwyer: But that's the base emotion undergirding a lot of things. Right?

Japhet De Oliveira: Mm-hmm.

Mark Dwyer: And faith is a scary thing. In its very construction it asks you to embrace the unknown.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yes.

Mark Dwyer: And that's something that no one likes to do.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yes.

Mark Dwyer: No one likes that. My brother-in-law says, "I hate walking through fear. We are called to walk through fear in this life. I hate walking through fear." I love that.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: That's something that I share, too.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: That you may not like walking through fear, but it's important. And I think that's what stops people from faith.

Japhet De Oliveira: I appreciate that insight. That's good. Which you want to go next?

Mark Dwyer: Let's stay in the nineties.

Japhet De Oliveira: Mm-hmm.

Mark Dwyer: 91.

Japhet De Oliveira: 91? All right. Describe a time in your life when you learned about forgiveness.

Mark Dwyer: Whoa. If I'm honest, my parents have taught me probably the most about forgiveness. And that's them forgiving me.

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh.

Mark Dwyer: That's them putting up with me throughout everything I've put them through. But my parents were and still are the most gracious and wonderful people. And that's something that I've struggled to emulate always in my life, but I don't have any excuse because I've been shown forgiveness, and I feel like I've been shown what that looks like through the people that are closest to me. And that's a valuable thing.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, that's beautiful. Good testament to them as well. Yeah, yeah. I think they may appreciate that.

Mark Dwyer: I hope so.

Japhet De Oliveira: All right, Mark, final number?

Mark Dwyer: Okay.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: Have we said 98?

Japhet De Oliveira: No.

Mark Dwyer: Let's do 98.

Japhet De Oliveira: All right.

Mark Dwyer: 98.

Japhet De Oliveira: This is great actually. What is one thing, one great thing, that you are capable of achieving?

Mark Dwyer: A great thing?

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Mark Dwyer: I think the best thing I've been able to share in life is positivity.

Japhet De Oliveira: Mm-hmm.

Mark Dwyer: And the times in my life where I've been able to share the enthusiasm that I feel for things, and being able to share positivity. That's the gift that I have to offer. And I hope I can do that here at Adventist Health.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, no, it's true.

Mark Dwyer: There's a lot of great positive things to share and it's a joy to be able to be that person, to be a part of sharing those things.

Japhet De Oliveira: That is true. That's fantastic, man. Mark, it has been an absolute pleasure to be able to talk.

Mark Dwyer: Japhet, thank you so much.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, no, it's been fantastic. I just want to encourage people to do the same thing. Sit down with a friend, ask good questions. Listen. I say this every episode because I really believe it, that we learn from each other, and we change for the better.

Mark Dwyer: 100%.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. So God bless you, and God bless everybody else, and we'll connect soon.

Narrator: Thank you for joining us for the Story & Experience Podcast. We invite you to read, watch, and submit your story and experience at adventisthealth.org/story. The Story & Experience Podcast was brought to you by Adventist Health through the Office of Culture.