Rob Nevarez
Episode 156

Narrator: Welcome friends to another episode of the Story and Experience podcast. Join your host, Japhet De Oliveira with his guest today and discover the moments that shape us, our families and communities.

Japhet De Oliveira: Hey, welcome friends to another episode of the Story and Experience podcast. I'm here in the studio at Roseville California and very excited with this guest that you will get to meet in a moment. They're staring off over to the left side of the studio. I'm wondering what they're thinking about right now, but it looks good. It looks good.

Rob Nevarez: Technology.

Japhet De Oliveira: Technology. There you go. So I'm going to ask the first 10 questions off the hundred and then you get to choose between 11 and 100 where you want to go. There are questions about stories and experiences that shape you into the leader that you are today. So let me begin with the first one. Could you tell us your name? Does anybody ever mispronounce it?

Rob Nevarez: Oh, yes. My name is Rob Nevarez and numerous people mispronounce it. Usually it's Rob Nevarez. That's how I received numerous awards, all my awards during elementary and middle school. Just Rob Nevarez, it's Nevarez. I stopped correcting people quite a while ago.

Japhet De Oliveira: So does it mean that you never received an award?

Rob Nevarez: Oh, I received plenty awards. I was pretty much a book nerd in elementary and middle school. Oh yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira: There could be somebody else. Yeah, that's good.

Rob Nevarez: I hope not.

Japhet De Oliveira: Hey Rob, what do you do for work?

Rob Nevarez: I am an executive assistant for the Adventist Health Organization.

Japhet De Oliveira: And you enjoy it?

Rob Nevarez: I do. I do. I feel very much like it's a culmination of really everything I've worked towards and for. Haven't really shot to be an EA when I was growing up, but just life's journey and my previous position, my previous employers have led me here.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's fantastic, man. How long have you been doing this role?

Rob Nevarez: I would say three and a half years now.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Rob Nevarez: Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira: What's the most exciting part of it for you?

Rob Nevarez: Every day is different.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay. All right.

Rob Nevarez: Every day is different and I like it. I always joke like there's going to be a curveball thrown my way every day. What is today's curveball?

Japhet De Oliveira: And you like catching it and... Yeah.

Rob Nevarez: Yeah, yeah. Once in a while I might drop. I might drop the ball. It happens once in a while, unfortunately.

Japhet De Oliveira: I hear that you like to take chaos and make order.

Rob Nevarez: I am a pretty organized individual, so all the chaos, making it rhyme and make sense, that's the way I gravitate towards you.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's good. So Rob, where were you born?

Rob Nevarez: Oh wow. I was born far, far away in Roseville, California.

Japhet De Oliveira: No.

Rob Nevarez: Yes. Yes. I was actually born in Roseville, California and we were talking 10 seconds ago about life's journey. I've been all throughout Placer County and found myself back in Rockland, California today.

Japhet De Oliveira: Wow. Okay. So when you grew up in Roseville right here in this town, when you were a child, what did you imagine going to be when you were a child?

Rob Nevarez: I am not one of those individuals that had a set plan when I was a kid. Nothing really struck me as I'm going to do that. And maybe I was too lackadaisical when I was a child. It's just nothing really struck me like I'm going to do that when I get older.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's good. That's good. Habits, are you an early riser or late night owl?

Rob Nevarez: As I get older.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. Okay.

Rob Nevarez: I have become an early riser. I find myself waking up around, not your early time, but I find myself waking up around 5:30, 5:45 each morning.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Rob Nevarez: Which is early for me.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's good. That's good. And when you get up, what's your drink of the day? Do you start off with water, coffee, tea, liquid, green smoothie?

Rob Nevarez: No, not coffee, not water. Chocolate milk.

Japhet De Oliveira: No, you do not.

Rob Nevarez: Chocolate milk. I feel like an adult saying that.

Japhet De Oliveira: No.

Rob Nevarez: Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's the first.

Rob Nevarez: Really? That's the first chocolate.

Japhet De Oliveira: Well, if I was talking to, I don't know, somebody in kindergarten, I'd like chocolate milk. I'm like, wow, Rob, chocolate milk.

Rob Nevarez: Yeah. Yeah. I'm being honest here.

Japhet De Oliveira: A protein shake or just pure chocolate milk?

Rob Nevarez: Pure chocolate milk. The protein that you get from-

Japhet De Oliveira: I feel like I'm missing out in my life.

Rob Nevarez: The protein. The protein wakes me up, gets me the energy I need. And some good sugar. Yeah. Water doesn't do it for me in the morning. And coffee unfortunately doesn't taste like it smells.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Rob Nevarez: Yeah. So chocolate milk.

Japhet De Oliveira: So in your experience as a chocolate milk connoisseur, is there one chocolate milk above all others?

Rob Nevarez: I have been buying the local crystal chocolate milk.

Japhet De Oliveira: Really?

Rob Nevarez: And I like it a lot. There's different flavors. A lot of chalk tasting chocolate milk. It's not the best. But crystal milk, I feel like this has quickly become a chocolate milk advertisement.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yes, it has. Remember-

Rob Nevarez: I'm very well and open for sponsorship.

Japhet De Oliveira: ... do you remember those adverts, goat milk? Back in the day with a little kid. You could do that. Chocolate milk.

Rob Nevarez: All grown up.

Japhet De Oliveira: All grown up. Rob. All right, thanks. Rob. Would you describe yourself as an introvert or an extrovert? I'm still thinking about the chocolate milk. Yeah.

Rob Nevarez: I just ran out yesterday, unfortunately with the chocolate milk.

Japhet De Oliveira: Wow, okay.

Rob Nevarez: Yeah. It's been a rough morning. Anyways, when I was younger, definitely introvert as I'm getting older, I am an extrovert. Definitely I enjoy meeting, I enjoy talking to people, which has helped my career and has helped me get on my comfort zone, which I think everybody should try to do at least once in their life.

Japhet De Oliveira: Hey, that's good. That's good. When you woke up this morning, other than not having chocolate milk, what was the first thought that went through your mind today?

Rob Nevarez: Is Kennedy awake.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay. And who or what is Kennedy?

Rob Nevarez: Kennedy is my six-month-old baby girl.

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh, okay.

Rob Nevarez: Yes. She wakes us up numerous times, stirring throughout the night, but she slept all night, which was really nice. And she actually slept longer than we did, which is rare, which was nice. So my first thought usually goes to the kids or immediately starting with what's the day look like.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay. So how many kids do you have?

Rob Nevarez: Two.

Japhet De Oliveira: Two, all right. All right. Sounded like you had a tribe, the kids, but it's true. Fair enough. Two. It's great.

Rob Nevarez: It feels like it is a tribe.

Japhet De Oliveira: How old is your other one?

Rob Nevarez: She just turned eight this past Friday.

Japhet De Oliveira: Wow, that's fantastic. Oh, that's good.

Rob Nevarez: Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira: Good, good. All right, here's a leadership question for you. Are you a backseat driver?

Rob Nevarez: Yes.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay.

Rob Nevarez: Yes. I think I've mentioned this to you before. I'm a little bit of a control freak and I just know that if I have control of it, it'll get done. It'll get done efficiently and more likely than it'll get done right the first time. Whereas if I let somebody else have the reins, there's hiccup after hiccup and then I just have to come in and clean it up. And it sounds cynical, but I guess I'm a backseat driver.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay. All right. Well you own it. That's good.

Rob Nevarez: I do. I'm a open book.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. Yeah, that's good. Well, the book is open now, actually.

Rob Nevarez: I'm a very open book.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. So you get to pick between 11 and 100 where would you like to go first, Rob?

Rob Nevarez: Quick 10 questions. Okay.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Rob Nevarez: All right, let's start with 22.

Japhet De Oliveira: 22. If you could be anywhere right now, where would you be?

Rob Nevarez: Somewhere overseas with a book in my hand, my fiance by my side. Probably on a beach somewhere.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. Nice. You like the beach? Do you like getting in the sea or just sitting on the beach?

Rob Nevarez: I like sitting on the beach. Yeah. And a book and silence in today's world, it's nice.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's good, man. That's good. Well I hope you make that happen soon.

Rob Nevarez: Oh yes. Cheers to that.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's good. All right, where next?

Rob Nevarez: 35.

Japhet De Oliveira: 35. All right. Oh, share a special interest, unique talent that you have.

Rob Nevarez: An interest. Okay. Okay. When I was four years old, my grandma on my mom's side and my grandpa on my father's side introduced me to this amazing sports called pro wrestling. And even to this day, I am a big pro wrestling fan.

Japhet De Oliveira: Really?

Rob Nevarez: I'm very much a pro wrestling nut. Yeah, I absolutely understand. It's choreographed and predetermined. It just brings me to my childhood and life simple joys. And I get a chance to hang out with friends who enjoy it as well and we just have a good time.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's great.

Rob Nevarez: It is. And I get this is cheesy, but special interest, pro wrestling all the way.

Japhet De Oliveira: Isn't there a movie that came up recently about pro wrestling? I am going to look it up for you.

Rob Nevarez: Maybe you're referencing the Iron Claw.

Japhet De Oliveira: Is that what it is? It was a, some kind true of story of an English team that joined American Pro Wrestling. I'll find out for you.

Rob Nevarez: Yes.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. And I'll listen to me, tell us. Yeah, absolutely. All right. All right. That's good. All right, where next then?

Rob Nevarez: I'm not a fan of the 49ers, but let's go 49.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay. All right. One way to frame it. What are you currently learning about and why?

Rob Nevarez: Patience. Not a subject, but patience. Being that backseat driver, I apparently am. How do I get from where I am to where I need to go as fast and efficiently as possible. That's just my way of life. Patience. I've been told throughout my whole life patience is a good thing and I'm still trying to wrap my hands around that because I don't know, if you want something, I never understood the point of waiting for it. So I'm learning this thing called patience and it's very difficult to catch on.

Japhet De Oliveira: It is very difficult. Are you feeling slight success in that area or?

Rob Nevarez: In the last few years, definitely.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay, that's good.

Rob Nevarez: Yeah. I would say I've made great progress in the last two or three years.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's good. That's good. Slow and patient. All right, great. All right. When next then? That was 49.

Rob Nevarez: 56.

Japhet De Oliveira: 56. Oh, share an activity that makes you actually lose track of all time?

Rob Nevarez: Reading.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Rob Nevarez: Reading.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Rob Nevarez: Going back to my previous answer about having a book in silence, I might have that sometimes at a brewery, a local brewery or two when I do get some time to myself and reading just page after page, especially a good story.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay. So you like fiction on-

Rob Nevarez: I like fiction.

Japhet De Oliveira: You like fiction.

Rob Nevarez: Michael Crichton is my favorite author. I'm currently reading Sphere right now.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Rob Nevarez: That is a big time page turner. I knew it was going to be, but just-

Japhet De Oliveira: You know they die at the end all. No, I'm kidding.

Rob Nevarez: I saw the movie. I saw the movie, but it was in the nineties and so I forgot. I forgot.

Japhet De Oliveira: Don't know. I don't know.

Rob Nevarez: But yeah, page turner. And then all of a sudden an hour and a half, two hours have passed and your silent time is over.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. Hey, it's good. It's good. All right, where next?

Rob Nevarez: 65.

Japhet De Oliveira: 65. All right. Ooh. Share one word that you could describe your entire past and then unpack it for us.

Rob Nevarez: Growth. Growth. I will be the first one to admit, I don't know everything. I'm growing, I'm learning this patience thing. One thing at a time.

Japhet De Oliveira: We should all be. Yeah.

Rob Nevarez: Yeah. Growth. I've made mistakes in my past, professionally and personally. I like to think that I've been able to grow from them and to the person that I am today and still work in progress, mind you. But through all the good, the bad and everything in between. Growth.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's good. That's really good. Encouraging weird fathers as well. All right, where next?

Rob Nevarez: Oh, we're getting high. We're getting high up there.

Japhet De Oliveira: You can go either up or down. Yeah.

Rob Nevarez: Let's go 77.

Japhet De Oliveira: 77. All right. Share one of your most cup-filling experiences with us.

Rob Nevarez: It happened this past Friday.

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh yeah.

Rob Nevarez: So I don't know if you know this or not, but I'm a planner, it's what I do for my job, I'm a planner. And my eldest daughter, Finley, she's eight now. And trust me, she's let us know for the last few months this coming August 30th is coming. And so we planned this special day, which turned into a weekend for her and some of her friends. And it was a fleeting moment, but we were at the mall. We were walking out of Build-A-Bear, and they were just giggling and having a great time. They just emptied out some of my bank account. They were having a great time. And just the smile on her face. No matter what you're going through, no matter anything that's happening in the moment, moments like that makes it worth it. And if I could be a good parent, which is what I've been shooting for, for the last eight plus years now, if I could be a good parent and give her a good life, then my cup is filled.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's great. Give us a secret of parenting that you have learned. Yeah, that was a bonus question.

Rob Nevarez: Say what you want to say in your head, but don't say it out loud, and sometimes take a breath.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, that's good. That's good. Patience.

Rob Nevarez: Patience.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. Speaks volumes. All right, good. All right. Where next?

Rob Nevarez: 82.

Japhet De Oliveira: 82. If you could only keep three possessions, what would they be and why?

Rob Nevarez: Three possessions. The first one would be a poem that my fiance, Misha, wrote for me six, seven years ago. She got it framed and put baby Finley's picture on the other side of it. I look at that every day. Should probably would bring that into the office thinking about it. But that would be one of them. The second one would be a entertainment one, and it would be one of my replica championship that I might have hanging on my wall right now. The third one, I'm not like a possession guy. So three, I'm not trying to think about life necessities. I bring food, water.

Japhet De Oliveira: Sure, sure. Yeah.

Rob Nevarez: So a third item I would bring. I like technology, so I guess a tablet.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay. All right.

Rob Nevarez: Yeah. Gosh, I feel like those are shallow answers, but it's on record now. Got to keep going.

Japhet De Oliveira: We will know. We will know.

Rob Nevarez: Don't edit that out. Just keep it honest.

Japhet De Oliveira: There is no editing. It's all good. It's all good. Okay. All right. Where next? Yeah.

Rob Nevarez: 85.

Japhet De Oliveira: 85. All right. Oh, describe a role model you aspire to be like.

Rob Nevarez: I don't know if it's a specific person. I'm sure that we could throw out some names, but nothing comes to mind. But what I aspire to be is somebody that is cool and calm in the face of any and all situations.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay.

Rob Nevarez: Somebody that could be a good mouthpiece for the company or the family, and somebody that when looked at that person feels like they have it all together. So I don't know a name to attach to that, but that is the kind of person-

Japhet De Oliveira: That's what you aspire.

Rob Nevarez: ... I aspire to be.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's good. You've pulled from different sources.

Rob Nevarez: Yeah. Yeah. I've taken memories, vivid memories from the past and I know I want to be something like that or I know I don't want to be that. And I'm trying to become that person.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's good. That's good. I appreciate that. All right. Where next?

Rob Nevarez: 90.

Japhet De Oliveira: All right. 90. Tell us about how you overcame a seemingly insurmountable obstacle?

Rob Nevarez: 14 years, I've been in a relationship now with my fiance.

Japhet De Oliveira: Hey, that's great. Congratulations.

Rob Nevarez: Thank you. And just so much growth. So much growth. I feel like we were kids when we got together, 14 years. And there comes times in the relationship where it's not all gumdrops and lollipops, and you have to work towards it. And my career has started to take off with new position, especially this one. And a few years ago, I feel like I got wrapped up in my career and maybe became a little too selfish. And we ended up taking a break. We took a break for, geez, six, seven months. And in those six, seven months, I had to look myself in the mirror. Who am I? Who am I now? I wasn't who I was 14 years ago. Who am I now? Do I still love this person? And how do I win her back if I do? So it took better part of six, seven months to answer those questions. And some of those times were lean. I like to say that at that moment of time in my life, I had a big piece of humble pie.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay.

Rob Nevarez: She gave me a big piece of humble pie. I needed it. I need that sometimes. I'm a very confident guy and sometimes I need some humble pie sometimes. I'm all right to admit that. But I love her. We've grown together, thankfully we haven't grown apart. I'm not the easiest to live with. As she's listening to this, I'm certain she's going to have a smile on her face and say some very choice words agreeing with me. But I love her and I want her to be by my side as we grow into who we're going to be. And to get to that point, to earn her hand, her respect, her trust back took a lot. But I did it through the small amount of patience I have and my love for her, for the life we built. And I took my eye off the ball and I was looking up at the sky when my foundation was crumbling. And so I had to eat that big piece of humble pie and earn her back. I'm very proud and grateful that I could say that I did.

Japhet De Oliveira: Those are very deep introspective thoughts. Did somebody help you through that or did you just come to that over the time?

Rob Nevarez: Oh, no. I'm not that wise.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay. All right. All right.

Rob Nevarez: Oh no, I'm not that wise. My cousin and I were a month apart and he is big time involved in the church. He's so much wiser beyond his years in my personal opinion. And I came to him in pieces like, Hey, here's what's happening. I don't know how to move forward. I don't know what I want. He provided very, very wise advice for his young age and I can't tell him how much I appreciate him doing that. But yeah, I'm surely not that wise and I cannot take that credit.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, that's good. That's good. Hey, we all need community.

Rob Nevarez: I'm a big time family guy and I'm very blessed to be able to have a tremendous support system family around me.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, that's fantastic. All right. That was good. All right. That was 90. Where next?

Rob Nevarez: 92.

Japhet De Oliveira: 92. Okay. Smile. All right. How would you like to be remembered?

Rob Nevarez: I want to say some grand answer here, because doesn't everybody want to be remembered? But I want to be remembered for being a really good dad.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. Oh, that's good. That's good. Yeah. Did you have amazing parents?

Rob Nevarez: Is any answer yes or no? Is any answer just yes or no? We live in a gray world. My parents were adequate. I am lucky that I had a mother for the first 14 years of my life. I'm lucky that I had a dad that was in my life. Not everybody could say that. So I feel grateful for that situation. They were adequate.

Japhet De Oliveira: So where did this desire to become a great father come from?

Rob Nevarez: I don't know. I don't know. I just knew when I became a dad that I had to be a good one.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay.

Rob Nevarez: Yeah, because there are so-

Japhet De Oliveira: The honorable thing.

Rob Nevarez: Well, there's so many children that are given not adequate parents and it's very sad. And not a lot of things get me emotional, but underprivileged children, that's tough.

Japhet De Oliveira: Real thing.

Rob Nevarez: And if I brought a child or two into this world, I'm going to try my darndest to give them a better life than I ever had. I'm not saying that I had a terrible life, that was the base in my mind, that's the base. I want to give them so much more because I want them to be so much more than I ever have been.

Japhet De Oliveira: That is beautiful. That's beautiful. Rob, we have time for the last two numbers.

Rob Nevarez: Okay.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. So where would you like to go, my friend?

Rob Nevarez: Let's go. 96.

Japhet De Oliveira: 96. Oh, tell us about the last time you cried.

Rob Nevarez: Back in September of '23. I was working for another organization. I found myself with their marketing team in Nashville, Tennessee. I get a call where I'm prepping the morning meeting, it was 8:00 o'clock in the morning. I get a call from the fiance and she's saying that her aunt only has two weeks to live. We knew that her health was declining and thankfully we got a lot more than two weeks. We got until June of this year. So we got, what? Nine more months. So we were very lucky. But I woke up one morning and it was to Misha, my fiance, crying that her aunt passed away.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Rob Nevarez: And Trish, the aunt was a, is I should say, is her mother figure. She was an amazing woman. And I always consider myself very grateful that I got the chance to know such a cool soul like Trish. Yeah. So Misha, the family lost Trish and she lost her mom. I remember how that felt.

Japhet De Oliveira: It's real.

Rob Nevarez: Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. We lose people with love and we have to find a way to keep on remembering them.

Rob Nevarez: That is very true.

Japhet De Oliveira: And honoring them.

Rob Nevarez: That's very true.

Japhet De Oliveira: And it's hard to live sometimes.

Rob Nevarez: It's not all dumb jobs and lollipops.

Japhet De Oliveira: No it's not.

Rob Nevarez: It's not.

Japhet De Oliveira: No, it's not.

Rob Nevarez: My grandma told me something pointed and she either so wise or she just read it in a book, but she said that I'm getting to a point where life is not giving me new life, but it starting to take it away. And that always stuck with me and that just always stuck with me. And so I felt the emotions that day. She was an amazing woman, solid mother figure, and just an amazing woman. And I'm just going to go circle, so I'll stop talking-

Japhet De Oliveira: That's okay. That's okay. All right. All right. We are on our last number, Rob. So what would you like to, your last one?

Rob Nevarez: You said don't start with a 100.

Japhet De Oliveira: I recommended. Yeah.

Rob Nevarez: Let's end with a 100.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay. All right. So this is question 100. Tell us about one question that you just don't want to answer.

Rob Nevarez: Depending on the day, the time, the question I don't like to be answered is, are you happy? Because happy I've come to feel is a fleeting feeling. There's busy, there's chaotic, there's flustered, there's sad, there's mad, there's happy, there's so many emotions. And if somebody were to say, are you happy? That would be a different answer almost every day.

Japhet De Oliveira: Is there a question that you would like to be asked instead of, are you happy? Are you this.

Rob Nevarez: Are you good?

Japhet De Oliveira: Are you good? All right.

Rob Nevarez: Are you good? That I don't need recognition in my life, but whenever somebody stops and takes a second, looks at you and say, Hey, Japhet, are you good?

Japhet De Oliveira: Are you good? That's good. That's really good. That's a good question for all of us.

Rob Nevarez: Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. Rob, it has been an absolute pleasure. Thank you. Thank you for sharing. And I want to encourage, I encourage every time we finish an episode that people should do the same thing. Sit down with a friend, ask them good questions, listen to the answers. I do believe that we are change for it, and I believe we always change for the better.

Rob Nevarez: I hope so.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, no, totally. And I think that's a good question to ask people. Are you good? It is good. It is good.

Rob Nevarez: I think so.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, absolutely. God bless you man. Thank you. And for everybody else, we will connect again soon. Thank you.

Rob Nevarez: Thank you.

Narrator: Thank you for joining us for the Story and Experience podcast. We invite you to read, watch, and submit your story and experience at adventisthealth.org/story. The Story and Experience podcast was brought to you by Adventist Health through the Office of Culture.